I Hear You

22- Kiss Me Goodnight

<Lewis Davis>

I woke up with my head leaning on Matthew's shoulder. My vision was blurry but I knew it was Matthew. His smell is distinctive. Also, he's like a big marshmallow. His shoulders are cuddly. It had to be him.

My eyes were watery. I'm so sleepy and tingly. I felt like I drank the whole world's supply of alcohol. Knowing me, I probably did.

My head felt so heavy. And I feel so sweaty.

I raise my head off his shoulder, confused about how long I've been asleep.

We're still at the party, so not for very long.

All I remember is chugging this milk-looking-stuff while talking to my co-workers and their spouses.

Oh my god. I was drunk around Matthew. AND AT THE PARTY. PUBLICALLY. Oh no. No, no, no, no! I feel so bad. I was trying to show him a good time. I've been waiting and waiting to take him to this perfect party and tell him I love him.

I bet he didn't have fun tonight. He probably felt like babysitting a toddler. Me stumbling around, probably sexually harassing him. Goddamn it, drunk Lewis, you always ruin my plans!

My vision finally returns to normal, glancing at my watch.

12:30.

Crap.

"You're awake," Matthew glimpsing at me, "you sure like to party it up," he snickered to himself.

"I'm so sorry, Matthew," I sat up, still feeling woozy, I placed my hand on my head in pain. Stupid hangover.

"Are you alright? I've tried to get some water in you to sober you up, it worked a bit but then you passed out," he informed me.

I love it when I make a fool out myself in front of my potential soulmates. It's like subconsciously, I enjoy screwing myself over. Bravo, Lewis, Bravo. Excellent work.

He placed his hand on my forehead, "you're burning up, maybe we should go home," he said caringly.

UGH! He's so perfect to me. I know he isn't like perfect-perfect, but he's special to me. So special.

When I was younger, I had one Nana that liked me on my father's side. She was so loving and nurturing. She lived in this big grand house alone because she was a widow. Anyway, she had these servants but she treated them like they were friends. She was so happy to see them when they visited to clean her house.

I remember going to her house because my parents were on a business trip for a week. I got to stay in this gorgeous guest bedroom. It felt like I was living in a palace and I was a prince. There was this huge bed that had this fancy canopy hanging over it. Across the bed was a wooden vanity with real silver-lined mirrors. That was the dream.

She bought tons of toys and put them in this spare room and called it the 'playroom'. What I loved about her was that she didn't send me away to do other things. She went with me because she was lonely. She loved me. When I would get ill, she would nurture me back to health. When I was sad, she would always be there to comfort me. She was the best Nana.

When I turned eleven, she passed away. She had some kind of lung problems that prevented her from breathing as well. Her funeral was the saddest funeral I've ever been to. It was like saying goodbye to my mother that actually loved me. But she wasn't my mother, she was my nana.

Nana was so special to me. Now, Matthew is special to me.

Yeah, I know I haven't known her for longer than a month, but this passion between us connects us. It's not just physical magnitude, I think it's-well- love.