I Hear You

23- Why I Love Him

<Matthew Erwin>

When I was sixteen, I remember hearing about this old couple on the news. The wife's husband was on his deathbed, moments away from going to the other side. Before he left, he kissed his wife on her forehead and told her, "don't think of this as a kiss goodbye but a kiss goodnight." The wife cried as she tightened her grip on his hand and replied with, "this is why I love you."

I cried when I watched that headline because I thought it was so sad. I thought it was bittersweet how you can't be with who you love forever. I never realized how negative that sounded. It makes me smile to think of how much I've grown. How positive I've become, but really, it's all thanks to Lewis. 

When I think about that old couple, it positively symbolizes true love. Yes, life is short, but when we fall in love and stay in love, then it makes life timeless. Why? Because true love is eternal whether they're breathing or not. We're born to love, hopefully, we die in love as well.

I kissed Lewis goodnight. I couldn't spit out my 'I love you' but he already knew. He knew I loved him.

After I kissed him, I felt like I was floating on air. It was a high feeling. I don't understand why anyone would want to do drugs because this love is the best high in the world.

I recall comparing people to a yellow wicker basket I made when I was fourteen. I laugh at how closed-minded I was. I thought it was all about appearances.

When I was fourteen, I made a yellow wicker basket for my sister, Angela. It had plastic blue flowers twined with some of the wickers. I remember crying for hours, trying to make the wicker basket attractive. I put so much effort into it. It took me around a month to finish it. Then when I gave it to my sister on her twelveth birthday, she just shrugged. All that effort went down the drain. She didn't even care for it.

That yellow wicker basket experience reminded me of how people are. How we react around others and treat others especially. We put all our hard work into our appearances and then give ourselves away, to please others. We put flowers on our faces, and diamonds in our eyes. Then once we've built our confidence to hand us to them, they just shrug. Like we're just another wicker basket.

But for some reason though, they accept us. Maybe for our use, attractiveness, or they need us. They fill our basket with things that maybe are important to them. Sometimes, they fill it too heavily, causing us to snap.

Once the plastic blue flowers twine off, the diamonds in our eyes don't sparkle anymore, the yellow fades, and the wicker breaks, they replace us with another yellow. wicker. basket. Where do we go? Do they send us back, or do they throw us in the trash?

They throw us in the trash, not even glancing back. And around us? It's more worthless wicker baskets. We'll never be fixed, we'll never be mended. We're just here, taking up space.

Oh, how I was so wrong. But so right at the same time.

Yes, people are like wicker baskets. We come in all colors and sizes. Some are well made than others, some are more visually appealing, but they do all have something in common. They can hold things. Sometimes they can hold tons of things. Sometimes they can barely hold anything. But we can hold something.

And that something? That something is called love.

Yes, love. Sadly, some of us walk into toxic ones' hands. And it does suck. And sometimes they break us.

They break us and throw us away.

But does that mean we are broken?

No. We can be fixed. We can be mended. Or we can be left how we are and still be valuable.

Then, one day, we'll be given to someone. If our plastic blue flowers twine off, the diamonds in our eyes don't sparkle anymore, the yellow fades, or the wicker breaks, they'll keep us because they will always cherish us. And they'll keep us forever because we're their wicker basket. We hold their love and they hold ours too.

I don't necessarily need to contemplate over why I love Lewis. It's not just the way he acts. It's the way he is. How he changed me for the better. And the best part? He didn't walk into this relationship to change me. He stepped into this relationship to march with me, to stand along my side. And if I changed? He would still love me.

And that's why I love him.

***A/N***

Shorter chapter, I know, but I didn't want to stretch this one out too much.

I think this was the perfect amount for just Matthew's thoughts.