She Who Was My Love (girlxgirl) (Book 2)

Preparations

Faith's POV

This'll be good... I think.

I walk into my room, next to Buffy's and I pace a bit.

I wonder if I should change, make myself look nice for the whole reassurance dinner thing with the gang. It sounds like it'll be an intimate sort of affair for a get together. No big rave parties in the Summers' residence I guess. Just me, Joyce, Buffy and the gang... it's like we're a family and crap, it's weird. I mean the guys are cool and stuff. They've been wicked great through everything, but family?

Ain't they supposed to be blood? I never met any of my own blood, beyond my dead beat absentee dad and my drunken whore of a mother. I've got no clue how to act in a family. So why does it feel like this dinner thing is such a big deal? In all the time Buffy was gone we never got together like this. There wasn't even a wake after the funeral or nothing.

Now we're getting together for dinner and it scares the hell out of me. I'm all sweaty and itchy in all the wrong places and I'm scared. Since when does something as simple as dinner scare the crap out of me? Since I fell in love with B, that's when... Course I don't think my being scared has anything to do with B in this sitch. It's the other people that are scaring me.

Giles, Joyce, Willow, Xander and everyone. They're the ones who are scaring me in this one. B and I may be on the outs but we've been on the outs before and I have to believe that I'll find a way to get back with her, no matter what it takes. Even if I have to... god I don't even wanna think about it. It's too horrible even for me. I thought I was past this kinda thing. But I guess there are some things you never get over. Sometimes your reasons for them just shift. I will if I have to though. It could be the only way. I should definitely change before dinner on account of my sweatiness, something nice maybe.

I head to the dresser.

Willow's POV

This'll be good, I think.

I pick up my hairbrush and start brushing my hair for dinner tonight.

We can spend time with Buffy, let her know we're here for her, even if we don't say it straight out. And we ARE here for her. We're her friends and we love her and we wanna help her in her time of need. This must be so hard for her, being back after where she was. I bet she must be pretty angry with me cause of how it's my fault.

I was the one who brought her back. I kept insisting that everything was gonna be okay, that we were doing the right thing. And now Buffy's paying for it. Tara was right, I should've considered the options more carefully. I should've done more to help Faith in some other way. But I didn't, and now Buffy has to live with... god what was I thinking?

I wasn't thinking, that's the problem. I didn't even consider that she might be in a better place. All I knew was that Faith was my friend and so was Buffy, nothing else mattered. Tara and Xander and even Anya tried to get me to reconsider but I wouldn't hear it. I was ready to jump into any plan without thinking as long as it helps someone and that was so wrong. I know that now.

I put the brush down and look myself in the mirror.

I should've known that then.

Tara walks in from the hallway.

"Tara?"

She doesn't say anything.

"Tara?"

"I... I c-can't..."