She Who Was My Love (girlxgirl) (Book 2)

What Happens Now?

Dawn's POV

This is probably a bad idea. In the history of the world this is probably the worst idea anyone has ever thought up, and since I've been around forever I can say that and it's probably true. But I can't spend the rest of my life here in this room, no matter how fun it might sound. I gotta at least try and talk to them.

The monks may have put me where I am, they may have made up all these stupid memories in my head, and everyone else's head, but now that I'm here it's all up to me. It's my decision whether those memories mean anything. It's my decision whether my family means anything to me, whether I love them or not. And the truth is... I think I really do love them.

Despite the lying and the keeping secrets and how it all hurt me so much I wanted to kill myself, I still love them. It's because I love them that I did what I did pretty much. They're my family, they're supposed to love me and take care of me when I need it. I'm supposed to be able to trust them to be honest with me when I ask them about stuff, especially when it's about me.

But when I realized that they were talking about me behind my back, I didn't feel like that at all. I didn't feel loved or trusted or any of the things you're supposed to feel in a family. I felt alone, and afraid with no one to trust. And when I found out what they were keeping from me I felt betrayed and terrified of being more alone, and of the evil hell god who wants to find me and do something to me so she can destroy the world or something.

So I slit my wrists, hoping I could make it all stop. All the pain and the fear, I just wanted it all to stop. And it did, sorta.

I look down at my left wrist, wrapping my right hand around it just under the bandage.

It doesn't feel so bad compared to the pain of slicing your wrists open with broken glass. I'm still scared, and angry with them for lying to me and keeping the truth about me for so long from me. But more than anything I'd like to know... what happens now?

The door opens and I just stare down at my wrist.

"Dawn?"

"Come in Mom..."

She comes in with two other people and it's not like I have to guess who they are.

"Or is it Grandma?"

Then again...

"Maybe it's just Joyce."

"It's whatever you feel comfortable with as long as it doesn't involve swear words honey. How are you feeling?"

They pull up some chairs and sit down.

"Like I cut my wrists open with broken glass and nearly died, how about you?"

There's this awkward silence in the room and it makes me smile. Faith finally breaks the silence.

"Worried about you, mostly..."

I sit back in my hospital bed.

"I'm okay... I guess."

Buffy finally finds a reason to speak.

"Are you sure? You're feeling all right?"

"Well I'm alive, apparently."

"Yeah you are kid. Which is a good thing, isn't it?"

I don't say anything.

"Well I think it's a good thing, and your mom and Buffy think so too."

"Yes, we're very glad."