Rant ~Yato x Reader AU~

Chapter 20: He Was

"It took me a while, but I found where you keep all your tea and supplies," Yukine says, passing me a cup of the steaming beverage. "I hope you don't mind that I was digging through your things."

I take the cup into my hold and shake my head. "I don't mind. Thank you."

"No problem." He takes a seat on the sofa, sipping his own tea. "I think Yato went to get something to eat. He should be back soon."

I nod in response and sip on my own tea. The steaming substance runs smoothly down my throat, warming me from the inside out. It tastes good and helps at easing me, but in the end, I'm still trembling. My fingers and lips quiver from the combination of the cold gale and my wrecked emotions. Wrecked. That's barely the right way to describe the mess in my head. I am demolished. All the barriers I constructed three years ago are completely obliterated and everything is in utter chaos. That's what I'm battling.

Just then, the door closes as Yato calls, "I hope you like chicken 'cause I found this little Ma and Pa place around the corner."

Yukine meets my stare and I shrug. He nods, replying, "She doesn't care. That'll do."

"Good. I really don't feel like going back out," Yato sighs, making his way into the living room.

He scans me briefly before resting the bag of food onto the coffee table. I remain perched in my chair, my tea still firmly settled in my clutch, just watching as he sets everything out. Yukine helps him, but I don't. I can't.

"Here," Yato says, handing me a box of food. "Eating can help."

I hesitate but take the box into my hand. The tasty scent of chicken and vegetables swirls up into my nose, but I have no appetite. However, as I look up at Yato, seeing as his stare bores into me. Intense and sharp as usual. But it's that intense and sharp gaze that encourages me to at least try to eat. So, with him still watching me, I take a small bite of the chicken and chew slowly before finally swallowing.

"Good," he says. "Eat up."

He gathers his own food and plops down next to his regalia. Yato begins to eat, though Yukine remains focused on me. He seems concerned and worried. At least, that's what I assume to see floating at the surface of his brilliant orbs.

He fidgets with his food before clearing his throat. "Umm...not that it's any of my business or anything...but what was that all about?" He lowers his tone. "You seemed pretty upset."

Just then, Yato reaches over and flicks Yukine's forehead, and scoffs, "You're right. It is none of your business."

"Ow! Yato! What the hell was that for?" Yukine whines.

Yato merely ignores him and turns to me, continuing, "But now that we're on the subject, what was that? You were crying pretty hard."

Their stares are trained onto me, both watching and waiting for what I have to say, but my lips are still pressed together. Part of me is afraid to try speaking because I'm almost certain I'll cry once again...because I can feel the lump in my throat. It threatens to spill the emotions that I've fought so hard to hide. So, I just sink lower into my seat, averting my gaze elsewhere as some sort of self-defense mechanism.

"Is it that guy?" Yato asks abruptly, causing me to perk up. "It is, isn't it?"

Yukine glances between us, interjecting, "Guy? Wait, what guy? What are you talking about?"

Yato places his food back onto the table and crosses his arms over his chest. "From the festival. I saw them lock eyes, though it was brief." He brings his stare to mine. "You were in a hurry to leave after that. You obviously knew him. So, who was he?"

I bite my lower lip and glance away. The lump in my throat is still threatening me, but I swallow it. I don't want to cry. I don't want to cry. I don't want to cry. I tell myself. Put your big girl panties on and suck it up. Easier said than done. At least, that's what I'm learning. In the end, all I want to do is curl up in my bed and sob.

"Well?" Yato presses, pulling me from my thoughts. "Who was he?"

I fidget with my utensil before sighing, "His name is Kaito."

"Kaito?" Yukine repeats quizzically.

Yato holds up his hand as if to silence his regalia, continuing, "Who was he to you?"

My heart begins to race, slamming itself against my ribs. My pulse throbs the inside of my ears as my breathing becomes unsteady. Their stares suddenly feel like they're weighing down on me like a hefty force, making me feel weak. I am trapped beneath the tonnage of it all.

"Y/N," Yukine says quietly. "You don't have to tell us if you don't want to. We just want to help, is all."

I meet his eyes. They are so big and warm, the sight of them just trying to ease me, but to no avail. In the end, no amount of sleep, food, kind words, or crying can fix me. I am too broken.

I shake my head and swallow, "It doesn't matter. Nothing helps. I've already seen him, so I might as well just say it." I glance between the two fellows resting on my sofa and sigh, "He was my first love."

**Ello lovelies! Won't lie. I'm hitting a bit of a stump with all this. Like, I know where I'm going and what I want to happen, but it's like I need to force myself to actually type. I don't know if it's because I'm working on four different projects (two for my other account) or what, but I just don't wanna type. Relax, we all know that I won't be going anywhere. As we can tell by my trilogies, I always finish a project once it's started. Anyway. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to damper the mood. Any guesses as to what awaits? Feel free to let me know! Thank you so, so, SOOOOO much for everything! Y'all are awesome sauce! Wuv yous!! <3**

-Noel Ross

P.S. "Miroh" by Stray Kids