Can You Save Me?

Chapter 18

I sat there impatiently waiting for the test to be done. I stared at it, thinking. What was I going to do if I was pregnant? How can I care for a child when I can barely care for myself? But most importantly, what was Lou going to do with Brittany and I both pregnant, carrying his children? He was screwed. I checked my watch. 3.45. Its been 3 minutes, the time it takes for the test to work. Louis was on his way from the studio. 

I took a deep breath and finally looked at the pregnancy test. Positive. Tears immediately started streaming down my face. Brittany was so much prettier than I was. She was so much better. Lou was sure to leave me for her again. I slid down against the wall, sobbing my eyes out until I heard Louis knocking at my door. 

I slowly got myself together and answered the door. When I saw Louis's hopeful face, I burst out crying again. He immediately pulled me into his arms trying to comfort me. I pulled away and looked at him in the eyes. 

"What am I going to do?" I asked, desperatly needing an answer. Lou looked at me with a confused face.

"Don't you mean what are we going to do?" I sighed and started crying again. 

"You're just going to leave me again, for Brittany." He froze, and made me look him in the eyes.

"I know I did terrible things before." He said, his eyes pleading. "But I love you. And I love only you. Brittany can go to hell for all I care. And if she is pregnant? I'll be there for the child. It's not there fault. But I promise that you are the one that I will be there for. I promise to stand my your side through everything. Okay?" I nodded, speechless.  He put his hands on my tummy, and looked at me. 

"So Harmony, love. Will you do the honors of being my girlfriend once again? Because I would love to have our perfect family together." I giggled and nodded. He leaned in and kissed me softly. God, I've missed his kisses. His tongue slid against my bottom lip, as if asking for entrance. Our tongues moved together, as we smiled through the kiss. We separated, and I studied his face. I was happy to be back together, but a part of me was worried. What makes this time different from the others? What makes me think he's not going to do the same thing all over again. He smiled at me, and pulled away. 

"I'm going to call the boys, they'll be so excited. We'll have to have dinner tonight." I nodded excitedly. This was going to be an adventure. Louis went and called the boys as I went and changed. I was like, four weeks? So I wasn't showing yet. I was only in my panties and bra when I turned to see Louis standing at the doorway with a horrified look.

"Harmony, you can't keep doing this to yourself." He yelled frustrated pointing at my new cuts. He never yells, so it scares me.  I jumped back a little, and his face softened. 

"You're so perfect and you don't even see it." He put his forehead against mine. "Promise you'll stop. For us. For the baby." I nodded. I really did want to stop. I felt bad for my baby, because it had to live in my fucked up body. 

"Now get dressed, love. We're going to Nando's with the boys." He walked out and I finished getting dressed. Before leaving the room I put my hands over my tummy. 

"I'll get better for you" I said to my barely noticeable bump. "Mummy loves you."