Scarlet Love

|11| Save me.

Hey, everyone.
So I just wanted to say that this chapter has trigger words and emotions...about suicide.
So, if you're not comfortable with this topic then you can ignore this.

Carter's pov:
(P:S, if you forget, the boy whom everyone bullies)

Have you ever felt like you are drowning in the deep sea. No one is there. You are choking. Your lungs are on fire., making damn hard to breathe.

Something heavy is on your chest,
So heavy that it is taking you down with its weight.

Ever felt like you are locked in a room, you can't get out but when you look out from the window, you see everyone is happy and free.? And you feel jealous. Jealousy for their happiness.

Like you are not living.
Just existing.

Everything around you felt Empty, cold and dark.
Even your own self felt numb., Out of feelings.
Like you can't feel any emotions.

Have you ever thought, that No matter what you do? people will not notice you. They are not seeing you.  They would not understand you.,
Only if you died, people would notice you.

And have you ever thought like, Just this one,
This is the last one,
Let's be strong and put our head high,
After this, everything would be okay?
Everything will be alright,
But then Boom!!
Everything crushes. shattered again.
There are new things, hard than before., And again you lost the hope.
You realise that this is not it.

When you are dying inside,
But no one knew it.
They don't know how hard it is for you!.

Have you ever felt like a loser?
Beyond the understanding of others.

Have you?
Because I feel the same.
I feel the fucking same.,

But now everything will end.

They will not feel disgusted by me.
They don't have to tolerate me more.
They will be free from me.
Yes, this is it.

And I'll be free from everything.
I'll be happy once again.
I will not feel scared anymore, every time I went out.,I always feel that, but not anymore.

The only hope I had was already gone,
They betrayed me.
He betrayed me.
Even thinking about that makes me feel like I'm suffocating.

All would be forgotten from my memory.

Wow, it feels so good to just think about this.

Right now I'm in my dorm,
Alone., Cause no one wants to be with me in one room.
Of course, who wants to be with me.
The school's freak.

Anyway, there are three things in front of me.
1) A blade.
2) A rope.
3) and capsules.

So here I'm thinking about how should I end my life.
A blade would be good.,
Just one right stroke and everything will end but it would hurt, right?

It's not like I'm momma's boy,
The people beat me to death but still,
I don't want my last seconds in pain.

A rope is also not good.

So it's decided. I'll use capsules.

I usually never drink,
But I'll drink capsules with it. And will drink my regrets and sorrows with it too.

Okay, so everything is ready,
Just one thing. I've to do it.

I picked my i-phone and dialled the number.

One ring...
Second ring...
Third one,
Then someone answered it.

"Hello," the person said.
I immediately recognise the voice.
How can I forget this voice?