narcotic // a newtmas au

drugs and hugs

"I think I met my soulmate today," Newt said as he threw his mask on the floor and flopped down next to his best friend on their couch. It wasn't the most comfortable couch in the world, but it came with the apartment so they took what they could get. Moving in with Minho was an easy choice. Funny story, when Newt first became the infamous Deadpool, he was paid to kill Minho. When he effortlessly broke into the Korean boy's house and held a gun to his head and said "if you want to live don't say a word," Minho looked him in the eye, snorted out a laugh and said, "a word...honestly it's bold of you to assume that I want to live." Newt was so shocked at that response and a little intrigued, so he denied the job, ordered four pizzas and sat on the couch with his new found friend and played a game of "well you think that's bad listen to what I went through this one time." That night they decided to move into a vacant apartment together which Minho chose because he wanted to bone the landlord Eran, and that was the start of their very unique yet beautiful relationship.

Minho snorted out a laugh as he shook his head. "If you had a soulmate it would definitely be like a cactus or something repulsive like a blobfish."

Newt grinned. "I'm serious Min, I knew it the second I saw his ass. I am meant to be with this boy."

"Wait you fucked him?"

"Not really."

"What do you mean not really?"

"I think he hates me."

"What? No way. Who could hate you?" Minho fake gasped which made Newt roll his eyes.

"I'm gonna tap that ass or die trying I swear on that."

"The only detail I get is how round his ass is?"

"Well if you shut up and listen, I'll tell you the story."

Minho nodded and folded his hands on his lap. "Okay, I'm all ears."

~ five hours earlier ~

"Well if I shot that ass I think it'd be considered a crime because bloody hell pretty boy." Newt grinned as he lowered the gun that was pressed against the base of the boy's skull.

The boy slowly turned around, his hands held up weakly by the sides of his face.

Newt's smiled widened. Of course Newt knew who the boy standing in front of him was. The tight red and blue spandex suit gave it away. "Now are you going to tell me exactly what spider-man is doing in my apartment?"

"T-this is your apartment?" Spidey croaked out before he cleared his throat. "I mean of course this is your apartment, I knew that."

Newt would have rolled his eyes if he also didn't have on his red and black mask, it would have been pointless doing the action where spandex man couldn't see it so instead he let out a forced laugh. "All butt no brain I see. Honestly just be grateful that Minho isn't home because he probably would have been jacking off and that is a sight that I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemy."

"You're selling drugs," Spiderman said plainly which made Newt laugh again.

"Selling? No. More like, I'm keeping drugs that happen to keep getting stolen. I can assure you Spidey that I do not have a drug business running out of my apartment. I may be stupid but I'm not an idiot." Newt plopped himself down on the couch and kicked off his boots. He patted his lap. "Why don't you plop that pretty thing down where it belongs and we can talk about this problem further."

"C-can you stop with the cocaine?"

Newt shrugged. "Possibly, not like it works much for me anyways." Newt stretched his arms back and rested them behind his head. "I suppose I could help you out because you asked so nicely."