narcotic // a newtmas au

stop asking

"Shit shit shit shit shit!" Thomas shouted as he swung away from the wave of bullets threatening to pierce him.

"Stop shooting at me I just want to talk!" Thomas yelped again as another wave of bullets broke through the wall behind him.

There were two men in front of him, they looked average but both had pretty large guns that Thomas hadn't ever seen before. He'd tried to get a jumpstart on the investigation himself. He talked to some of the addicts, and they'd directed him toward a part of town where several of the city's homeless lived. It was a more secluded place surrounded by a broken chain link fence. Thomas had arrived in his Spiderman suit which sent the two guys off in a shooting frenzy. Thomas' heart was pounding as he swung across the place under the bridge. He couldn't tell if it was adrenaline or he was just tired. He hadn't been sleeping much due to weird thoughts of a certain merc swirling through his brain. Speaking of a certain merc...

"Baby boy! You started the fun without me!"

Thomas shook his head as he saw the red and black suit of the man he'd been spending far too much time with.

"How did you know where I am?!" Thomas shouted as he dodged a bullet that was far too close.

"I don't follow my heart, I follow my dick and it tends to lead me to spandex covered asses."

Thomas rolled his eyes as he shot a web, successfully covering one of their guns. "No killing Pool!"

Deadpool groaned loudly. "You're no fun!"

"We can't get information from them if they're dead."

"Stop shooting me!" Deadpool shouted as the man as he looked down at the multiple holes in his chest. "If I wasn't trying to get in Spidey's pants you'd be dead by now!"

Thomas huffed out a laugh at that before webbing the guy and dropping to the ground. "You're a good distraction."

"Did you just admit I distract you baby boy?"

Thomas rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. "Not at all what I said."

"It's okay I read between the lines, I knew what you meant."

Thomas ignored him as he pointed at the guys. "So how do you suggest we get them to talk?"

Deadpool shrugged. "I usually start by cutting something off."

"What the fuck?! No! Let's not just mutilate people."

"Please baby boy? Just one finger?" Deadpool clasped his hands together and somehow managed to convey the fact he was fluttering his eyelashes under his mask.

"No!"

Deadpool groaned but went over to the guy and pressed the barrel of his gun to his forehead.

"Seriously?" Thomas rolled his eyes.

"I didn't pull the trigger!"

"You're such a pain in my ass."

"I can make that pain turn to pleasure real quick."

"Stop flirting with me while we're literally in the middle of a shoot out!"

"So that means I can flirt with you another time?"

Thomas groaned and dropped next to Deadpool. "I thought you were supposed to be helping me."

"I am! I'm just also trying to get you to let me grab your butt."

"Can you just fucking shoot me please?" The guy with a gun to his head groaned loudly.

"Now he's just asking for it!" Deadpool complained loudly.