Too Good To Be True?

Chapter 12

I stared down at the sunny invitation, my expression one of joy, but my heart silently aching. "Wow, guys, it... I mean, it looks great. Really, I love the colors, and... and the font and... Yeah, it, it's really great."

Sqaishey pouted, lightly hitting Stampy's arm who was sitting next to her on the couch opposite me. "See! I told you he wouldn't like it."

"No no, really, it's lovely," I said quickly, handing the wedding invitation back to her. "Everyone will love them. It's just..." I glanced away, pushing down a sigh. "I... I forgot how soon it was, is all. I'll be there, of course, I just... yeah, I'll be there."

I could tell they felt sorry for me- all my friends knew how much I was struggling- but they were so caught up in their excitement that my heartache was currently taking a backseat, which I totally understood and honestly I was almost grateful for the distraction. Almost...

"I just can't believe this is really happening!" Sqaishey squealed, holding the card to her chest with a huge, giddy smile.

Stamps just gazed at her, completely content, completely in love. Nothing else in the world mattered to him, as long as she was happy.

I wondered if I looked like that when I was with Angel...

"What do you mean you can't believe it?" he asked with his signature laugh. "It's all you've been talking about for months!"

"Oh, like you've been any better!" she teased, giving him a peck on the cheek.

"So..." I ventured trying to slip myself back into the conversation. "Have you uh, picked a dress yet, Beth?"

She blushed, looking down at her lap. "Well, uh... no, not yet."

A shocked look overcame my best friend. "What?! But you've gone shopping three times now! What do you mean you didn't pick one yet?"

"They're just all so pretty!" she defended, pouting once again. "I just want it to be perfect..."

Joe gently took her hand, smiling. "You'll look more than perfect, no matter what you're wearing."

Her eyes glistened as they met his once again, time stopping between them.

I tore my gaze away, my emotions burning in my chest. Anger, envy, grief... I couldn't take much more.

"Excuse me..." I muttered, leaving my seat without bothering to check if they'd heard me all the way over in their own little world.

I shuffled sadly through the halls, wondering why I'd told Ash it was okay to have them over. I thought I could handle it, thought having them here would help me, but it only made me feel worse. I wouldn't be able to go to the wedding with Angel like we'd planned... She'd been so excited, and I recalled Beth having mentioned that she could come dress shopping with her and the girls, before...

I sighed, slumping against the kitchen counter. I'd almost given up feeling sorry for myself by this point. But I suppose that means I'd nearly given up feeling anything at all, seeing as all my other emotions had shriveled up into nothingness. All but my love for Angel, of course.

My gaze drifted out the window and I cursed the perpetual sunshine, feeling as if its sole purpose was to mock my suffering. I imagined Stamps and his fiancée out on the lawn, all gussied up in their wedding attire, dancing and laughing under the light of the stars.

I'd imagined Angel and I in that situation so many times... seen her walking up the aisle towards me, felt my heart pounding with pride. But now, I didn't know if I'd ever get to share that experience with her... I may be left alone, the love of my life snatched from my grasp, and all at my own hand...

"David...?"

I quickly swiped at my eyes, straightening my posture and walking up to the glass door, pretending to be occupied with the view when I knew she'd already seen me.

I saw Sqaishey's reflection come up behind me, my brain automatically merging Angel's image with hers. It was then that I realized what she'd called me. David. I don't think she's ever called me by my real name... I was Squid to her, to all the girls in our friend group.

That revelation alone was enough to make me glance back at her and to my surprise, I saw her fully as herself, no trace of Angel to be found. "Hey..." I murmured.

She smiled softly. "Hey."

I looked on expectantly but she seemed sheepish, fiddling with her engagement ring but stopping when she caught me staring.

"I... I just wanted to say I'm really sorry..." she started, every part of her conveying absolute sympathy. "We shouldn't have gone off like that, not with everything that's been going on... I wasn't even thinking." She hesitantly reached out and set a dainty hand on my shoulder, not nervous exactly, but not wanting to overstep. "I know how hard this must be for you..." She shook her head, "No, I can't say that. I can't even begin to imagine your pain..."

I studied the rug under my feet, digging a toe in the spongy carpet.

"David..." Even though she'd never said it before, it didn't necessarily sound out of place. It seemed almost natural for her.

I reluctantly glanced up to meet her eyes, feeling a tug stronger than friendship. These two were my family. They all were.

"Joe and I talked it over, and... and we're willing to postpone the wedding."

My eyes widened in surprise, unsure if I'd heard her correctly. "What?"

"We want everyone to be happy, and we really want Angel to be there. We can wait until she gets better, it's really no-"

"Bethany, you do not have to do that," I interrupted, flabbergasted that they'd even suggest such a thing.

"Really, it's okay, w-"

"Beth." I turned to face her fully, taking her hand in both of mine to show that I was sincere. "Do not put off your wedding for us. I'll be fine, honestly. I'm so, incredibly happy for you two." A genuine smile came to my lips as I said that, reassuring me that what I was saying was one hundred percent true. "I consider Joe a brother, more so than Tom ever was. Which means you," I poked her shoulder lovingly, earning a giggle, and continued, "are my future sister-in-law. I would never ask my family to change their plans on my account, especially not something as important as this."

Her eyes shone with a mix of emotions, but she still seemed skeptical. "But, what about Angel? She would be devastated if she realized she'd missed it..."

I chewed on my lip, considering, but eventually I shrugged. "She would understand, and I know she'd say the same thing if she were here instead of me." My eyes skittered away again, a frown tugging at my lips. "I wish it were her here instead of me..." I whispered. "She doesn't deserve this... It should've been me."

"Don't talk like that," she said, stern but also gentle. "She's a strong girl, she'll be alright."

I forced myself to nod, fighting to stay out of the dark abyss I was living on the edge of.

"She really loves you," she murmured, giving my hand a squeeze. "You'll be back together soon enough. I promise."

I looked back up at her with tired eyes, letting her see a glimpse of the toll this had really taken on me. But as I looked at her, a bit of her optimism managed to rub off on me and I gave a small smile, pulling her into a hug. "Thank you, Beth... I don't know what I'd do without you guys."