Too Good To Be True?

Chapter 16 Ⅰ

I was a broken man. I hadn't slept in weeks, I could hardly eat. I stopped posting videos again and would've cut off contact with everyone if they didn't keep showing up at my house all the time. Even when they were here, though, I barely spoke a word to them. I appreciated the company and the kind words they provided, but nothing could fix me. Their words couldn't even put a bandaid on my fatal wounds. The love of my life had moved on, completely forgotten me and all the amazing times we'd shared...

Never again would I see her smile, hear her laugh, feel her hand in mine. Gone were the days of minigame battles and walks on the beach, hours of lazing in bed or spending time with our friends. I could still feel her lying next to me, her soft hair on my cheek, my arm wrapped protectively around her perfect form. While I would never get to experience the fireworks of her kiss again, they would never be forgotten.

Time meant nothing anymore. Morning, night. Day, week. They all melded together, my body going through its monotonous tasks without a conscious thought. The only times I got out of bed were to take care of the dogs or grab a box of cereal if the stash in my room ran out.

Amy kept bringing me lovely home-cooked meals and Joe was able to coax me out of bed once in a while, but for the most part I just spent my energy on ignoring anything to do with Angel. It was mentally exhausting and nearly impossible seeing as my phone, computer, and YouTube pages were full of her, but as much as I knew I had to move on, I couldn't bring myself to delete any of it. Nearly three years of memories... I couldn't just let that go up in smoke.

Wait, three years?

My head leapt off my pillow and I frantically scanned the room, scowling at the mess of wrappers and dirty dishes strewn about by the hurricane that was my emotions. I started swiping trash off the bed, searching under the covers, inside my pillow case, between the dresser and the wall. I got on my hands and knees, digging through the piles under the bed, getting more frustrated by the second. Once I had thoroughly tornadoed through the room and still couldn't find anything, I huffed and jogged to the toilet, the short trip winding me since I had barely moved in weeks. I tore the room apart, aggravated that I had let myself get to the point that I couldn't even remember where I'd put anything.

I finally sighed and sat on the toilet seat, holding my head in my hands. What did it matter, anyway? I was probably wrong about my hunch, too. I had completely lost track of time. Was it still July? Was it even summer?

I groaned and smacked my hand on the counter, angry at myself, at the world, at the drunk man who had taken my love away from me. At Cam for not being able to make her remember, at Joe and Beth and Ash and Amy for getting to be so happy while I sat and rotted away in a house that felt like a prison. I was angry at Angel for- no. I couldn't be angry at Angel. I had never once been angry with her and this... this was not...

I shook my head and forced myself to stand up, my fists clenched, my nails digging into my skin. How could that thought ever cross my mind? This was not her fault, she was doing the best she could and her friends were doing all they could to help, I knew that. While I thought I had lost the ability to feel emotions, they had actually managed to take over my life.

I sighed and tapped my fingers on my legs, feeling something in my pocket. I froze, disbelief washing over me as I realized I found what I'd been looking for. "Geezus, David, get it together..." I muttered to myself, pulling my phone out of my shorts.

I hesitantly pressed the power button, expecting the battery to be dead since I'd been neglecting to charge it, but it popped to life, happily displaying 3:04 AM and beneath that, Monday, August 6th... the day before our anniversary...

I squared my shoulders and stared at myself in the mirror, clenching my jaw at the sight. I was a shell of a man, my eyes like shattered glass, my skin limp and pale; a ghost wandering a haunted house.