Bring Him Home

Chapter Thirteen

Maedhros had his eyes closed thinking about many things as he lay there and rested. His mind mostly was on finding his brother and nothing more. He looked up as the tent flap moved to one side and Fingon came in and sat down beside him. 

"How are you doing?" He asked. 

"Not too bad," Maedhros replied.

"Good to hear," Fingon replied. Maedhros looked at him and noticed how worn out Fingon looked. 

"You should sleep, you look tired," Maedhros said. "You look worn out," 

"Oh. I have just been helping out with some of the wounded," Fingon said waving his hand. "I will be fine." 

Maedhros frowned and said, "You are hiding something. What's wrong?" 

Fingon lightly chuckled and said, "I am but I am fine." 

Maedhros frowned with concern and said, "If something is wrong-" 

"Nothing is wrong, Maitimo," He said. 

"I know something is," Maedhros said concerned. The only times Fingon ever called him Maitimo was when he was upset or worried. 

Fingon looked at him and sighed. "You know me too well, in truth I have not slept well since I have been worried about you." 

"Me?" Maedhros asked. 

"Yes. You." Fingon said. "I know you are doing better emotionally but there is only so much you can do by yourself. I know you do not want to work on it right now since your main goal is to find your brother. Yet, so much has happened we have not had a full chance to really talk. I was hoping that I could help you sort things out a bit before we found him since what good will you be to him if you break down?" 

"I am not going to break down," Maedhros replied stubbornly. 

"Perhaps, but you may afterword. I know the way you deal with things is by pushing things off and I do know you faced a lot of stuff and admitted things. Yet, you still blame yourself for a lot and you are not going to get anywhere if you do not admit or face it." Fingon said.

Maedhros looked away and a part of him hating how well Fingon knew him. He closed his eyes and said in a low voice, "Fingon. Just go. Please leave me alone." 

"Right now I am not going to, not until we talk about what you are going through. I am sorry but you keep pushing it off. You will be no good to your brother if you can't take care of yourself." Fingon said. 

"Fingon. Just go away!" Maedhros snapped. 

Fingon looked at him and sighed, "Fine. I am sorry I brought it up but I am worried about you. Half out travels you were silent, which is how you were right after I rescued you from Angband. You were just quiet and blamed yourself for so much. I can't see you fall into that pit again, that's why I am worried. Now, please take rest up." 

Maedhros's eyes shot open and looked at him. Yet, he already left him to sleep. Maedhros lay there and closed his eyes. It hurt he just sent him away like that. Yet, why couldn't he just tell him what he was going through?

Since I am scared, he answered himself. I am scared to face these demons and I do not want to drag my only friend with me. 

He closed his eyes and once more an old memory came to life in his mind. 

~~~

Fingon knocked on the door and gently opened it. "Nelyo?" He asked softly. He heard no reply and came into the darkened room. He walked over to the curtains and pulled them open a bit just letting in a drop of moonlight. He then turned and found Maedhros on the bed, half curled up on it and trembling slightly.