Stop Me If You've Heard This One Before (Girlxgirl)

Chapter # 4

I don't know what it was about her that had me so overwhelmed today. It might be the fact that she had curled her hair into adorable ringlets and wore a black leather skirt matched with a batman themed crop top. It was by far the cutest outfit I had seen her in so far. We didn't meet for two more days, so there was no way to get a closer look at her unless I talked to her. Which I wouldn't do.

She got on well with the people who played chess and got awards for being geeks. I bet she even played chess like the rest of them. I shouldn't want to talk to her, she was smart and I bet she was boring, too. She was a geek like the rest of them. Hell, she was one of them.

I watched as she was enveloped in a bear hug by a guy who was about a head taller than her. I was shocked when he dropped a kiss on her pink little lips. It seemed so sinister, watching her kiss her boyfriend, so I looked away. That may not have been the only reason I looked away but it was the only reason I was willing to admit to.

Just as I was going to look back to the couple, Jason was in front of me, obscuring my view. I was almost ready to swat at him like an annoying gnat and bob my head to the side as if it were a football game he was doing the great injustice of standing in front of instead of Talia and her boyfriend kissing in public, but I stopped short and smiled sweetly at him, taking his hand and tugging at his finger in the way I used to. In the way that always made him smile and pull me towards him and hug me.

I felt bad for a moment when I realized I was doing it again. I was romanticizing the past romance we shared like I actually still loved him like that. I did love Jason, he was the first boy I kissed and I used to tell him everything and he used to tell me everything.

I knew about his father's abuse that landed him in prison and about Buzz, his late dog who was put down last year and his fear of getting another dog. I knew his mother had a miscarriage and his dead little sister, of whom would have been named Tiffany was buried next to his dog in one of those creepy, sad, scary little baby coffins. He was amazing, and I was lucky to have him in my life. But I didn't want him in this way. I thought I used to, but I realized that was just clouded thoughts of wishing I was him.

I wished I was a boy so that thinking girls were pretty was okay and so that I wouldn't be judged for wanting to be with a girl. Jason was an escape from all of that, but now he's just a choking reminder of what I can't be; normal.

I was pulled out of my reverie when he pulled me close and planted a kiss on my forehead. "I love you, Taylor." I smiled momentarily glad he decided to be sweet today. "Thanks," I joked. He let me go and took my hand, leading me to our shared first period.

"How was the tutoring? He asked casually. I gulped. How do you say "I watched a movie in the dark, cuddled, held hands, and potentially developed feelings for a girl" with a bit of humor to soften the blow? That's like saying "I cheated, but don't feel bad, it was with the opposite sex, so there's no way you could compete with her."

"Good, normal...I finished all my homework and stuff. Really, great...just...yeah..." I couldn't lie convincingly. I just shut up, to save myself from further embarrassment.  Jason raised his eyebrows, and was about to open his big, fat mouth to ask me why I was lying to him, perhaps, when one of my good friends Hannah ran up and hugged me. She was too jolly for my liking, but she was loyal and was always down for a hang out, so I loved her no matter what. "Hey, girl!" She almost screamed. Jason groaned and let go of me, betraying me by mumbling about needed to meet up with the guys and left quickly, trying to get away from the girl before her glee spread to him.

"Hey Hann! What up?" I asked her. She smiled hugely. You would have had to be friend with her a long while to tell when she smiled, because as it was, she already smiled 24/7, so you had to see her lips spread out across her face even wider than humanly possible.