Chapter # 12

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I pushed the horribly big sunglasses high up on the bridge of my nose and pulled my cardigan closer around me, keeping my head down as I walked into school. 

The puffiness of my cheek had yet to go down completely and the ugly purplish bruise was covered with at least an entire bottle of cheap Walgreen's cover-up and Mac concealer. The discoloring showed through a little anyway and this morning I rushed out of the door two hours early and left a note saying I had to meet someone for breakfast. 

In reality I bought a donut and threw chunks of it out into the water of the marina downtown and watched the ducks snatch up the sweet frosting covered bread like vultures. I hadn't eaten anything. 

My jaw was swollen and it hurt to chew. I had left my phone, buzzing with messages from Taylor, the principle, and Lucas at home shut off and in my closet probably broken because of how many times I had stomped on it last night when Lucas kept calling me. 

I knew I had cracked the screen and that the volume was broken, but I hadn't thought about it since I had thrown it in the closet.  It was entirely too painful.

I hadn't slept either. I stayed up in the shower until it ran cold and I was shivering. I had cried and screamed with my fist in my mouth and scratched at my skin leaving bloody welts all over. I used an entire bottle of shampoo and an entire bottle of body wash and I had scrubbed and scrubbed and scrubbed but I still felt dirty. I still felt those hands all over me.

I reached the doors of the school and sniffled a little before entering. Mentality preparing myself. I could only hope Lucas wasn't going to invade my life today. I felt like killing him. I felt like ripping apart his life piece by piece and telling him that he deserved to rot in hell and if I could, I would torture the fuck out of him. Until he was as broken as I was. I wanted to take his life and crush it in between my fingers. 

"Talia!" I quickened my pace. I didn't want to be seen or talked to at the moment. I wasn't in much of a state to talk anyway. I was too angry, too sad, too tired.  I ducked into the bathroom and into a stall where I stood, breathing hard. 

I heard the door burst open and high heeled boots clanked against the tile. "Okay...so you're still pissed about what I said. Sorry. I was a bitch to you." It was Taylor. She was the one dose of normalcy today that I needed. That's I really wanted. I put my hand against the door, wanting to tell her. Needing to keep it shut. I leaned against the door and closed my eyes. I heard her laugh a little. 

"It's just...when you spend your life suppressing those feelings and then you're absolutely unable to stay away from a girl you think you've known for years but never got a good look at...it's terrifying." 

She paused. "And also, I'm with Jason and, it's complicated and I lied to him again and...I feel like he deserves to know, you know? But...I'm just afraid to tell him." I listened to her voice, calmed by the silky undertone and her rambling. I felt a smile touch my lips. 

"Uh...wow, sorry. Well, anyway, I'll see you tonight and I most definitely will be thinking about that kiss and getting to go to second base with you, which was pretty cool. And hot. Again, sorry I was such a butthead." 

I head her boots on the tile and then the swoosh of the door. I was alone for a few seconds but then someone else entered and I dipped out of the bathroom unseen. 

It didn't take long for my arm to be snatched up and for me to be pulled around the corner and slammed into the wall. My head, yet again, banged into the wall and I was momentarily blinded by black spots. Maybe I should wear a helmet.

"I have called you 47 times. Why the hell didn't you answer?" I huffed. "I broke my phone." He slammed my shoulders into the wall. "How? Why?" I pushed him away angrily. 

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