On Call | Grey's Anatomy // Book 3 // COMPLETED

54 | Find Your Voice

Walking into Meredith's room, she immediately started throwing anything she could reach at Alex, Maggie, and I.

"Good morning." Maggie chirped as Meredith grabbed an ice cube from her bucket and threw it, followed by a few more ice cubes and a cup. "...or not."

"How's the pain today?" Alex asked, but Meredith only responded with a slap on the table. It was clear she was restless and annoyed. "And the discomfort?" I sighed...another table slap.

Maggie folded her arms. "Well, her energy's up."

"All right. I'm sorry. I have all of five minutes to update you on the miracle-" Bailey walked in, only to have Meredith push the bedside table with wheels at her. "...that I've been working on your service this week, but it seems like a bad time. Uh, I'm gonna check-in and update you later. Maybe we all could check in later."

"Meredith-" I started, but she just shot me a dirty look.

Sighing, I left the room with everyone else. It was a little hard not to take things personally when all you were trying to do was help.

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A few days later, as Meredith's arm and leg finally healed, she had agreed to see Lou again. Grabbing a wheelchair, Bailey and I rolled her down to the cafeteria where Lou and his family were waiting. "You ready?" Bailey asked.

Nodding her response, Meredith started to stand up as we helped her into the portable chair.

Lou and his family stood up as soon as they saw us coming.

"Hi, Dr. Grey. Lou." Lou greeted Meredith and re-introduced himself. In his hand, he held a small potted plant of which he gave to Meredith. "Um...thank you for meeting me. This is my wife, Joanne, my daughter, Kylie. I told you about her, the youngest, really smart. And that's my Anne. Um...um, have a seat, girls. Um, you got kids? Right. Forgot you can't talk. The jaw. Um...I wanted to...I didn't know what I was doing. What I did to you, I didn't know. I would never...I would never hurt a woman. I-I just want you...I just want you to know that I'm sorry. Truly sorry."

Meredith motioned for us to wheel her closer, and we did. Grabbing onto Lou's hand, Meredith gave him a forgiving look, which was probably all he could have asked for.

Being blamed for something you had no control over was one of the worst things ever, because in the end...it was still your fault. You caused this damage...even when you thought you never could. You saw a side to yourself that you never thought existed, and now...you had to deal with that.

That night, Alex and I got Meredith on her feet and took her home.

"Do you want anything?" Alex asked as we sat down on the couch in Meredith's house, "You know, like a sandwich or a...or a blanket?"

"All right, all right. I'm good. Sit down." Meredith pretty much told us to just stop fussing over her. Looking at us, she sighed. "I just spent six weeks in a bed, unable to speak. When that happens, you see things. There's a lot of things that people don't say to each other that they should just say, so I need you to hear me when I say this. I know I've needed you two a lot lately. But I also know, and I have known for a long time that Jo loves you, Alex. And Ellie, everyone sees the way Owen looks at you. He loves you, too. 'Post-it on the wall' loves you. Don't ignore that.
You can have more than one person. I used to think you couldn't, but now I know. I mean, turns out I have a whole damn village. So you don't have to worry about me. Go be with Jo and Owen. I'll be fine. I'm okay."

Standing up, Alex and I headed for the door. Even though we were both a little nervous to leave Meredith alone with the kids, I could tell that we both knew, deep down...that she would, in fact, be okay.

So, I went home.

Home to where someone was waiting for me...someone who I hadn't paid much attention to lately. Someone I loved.

Don't let fear keep you quiet. You have a voice. So use it. Speak up. Raise your hands. Shout your answers. Make yourself heard. Whatever it takes. Just find your voice. And when you do...fill the damn silence.