The Secrets We Keep - Taekai

the one where sehun finds out

"Oh my god." Sehun said, gasping slightly. "You're fucking Taemin."

"No." Jongin said, shock filling his voice and his head snapping back to look at Sehun. "No I'm not."

"Yes you are." Sehun said, smirk sliding onto his face. "I can't believe I didn't realize it before. You've been sneaking out so fucking much. And then Jonghyun came to see you which obviously was probably an excuse for you to go see Taemin."

"No, you're not right."

Sehun stood up, grabbing hold of Jongin's shoulders and shaking him slightly. "Yes I am dude. Admit it. You're fucking Taemin. It's all good, I'm happy for you."

Jongin didn't exactly know what to say or do at the moment - and he especially didn't know what to do when Sehun suddenly grabbed him up into a hug.

"I'm happy for you, Jong. I'm being honest here. I'm actually really happy for you." He said, patting Jongin's back. "You can feel free to answer at any time here man."

"Thanks." Jongin muttered, unsure of what else he could say.

"No problem." Sehun said, stepping back with a smile. "If you all need me to cover for you, I don't mind to. Just let me know ahead of time the next time I'm supposed to be out somewhere with you."

"I'll make sure to let you know." Jongin said, nodding and shoving his hands into his pockets.

●

Shinee being gone on a world tour wasn't necessarily an unusual thing for Jongin to be dealing with. Both of their groups had been on tours since Taemin and Jongin first got together. But Jongin still hated the distance it put between them every time one of them had to leave the country.

Not to mention this time was bringing up past memories of the last time Jongin was out of the country and what happened with Kyungsoo.

He still hadn't managed a decent conversation with his bandmate since then regarding what had occurred between them. And then whenever EXO had had a performance since that tour, Jongin had to go on stage and act as if nothing was wrong between them.

So having Taemin gone was a downer. Jongin hadn't noticed how much of his time was spent with Taemin until Shinee left to go on their tour. All of his free time had seemingly been spent with his boyfriend.

His boyfriend. A phrase Jongin still struggled to say. Don't even get Jongin started on the other phrase that had yet to come out of his mouth.

He hadn't told Taemin he loved him. He didn't know when he would ever manage to say the words that Taemin had already said pretty early on in their relationship. Hell Taemin had even said it before there was a relationship to speak of.

Taemin had let the words slip so easily out of his mouth in regards to Jongin on multiple occasions and Jongin hadn't even managed to say it once so far. And the worst part was Taemin hadn't even made him feel pressured to say it in return when he had said it in the past.

But he was worried that eventually Taemin would want to hear Jongin say it back. And Jongin wouldn't be able to say it. He wouldn't be able to say the three damn words that should be easy enough to say.

Deep down inside of him, Jongin had a feeling of dread. He felt like he knew eventually Jongin not being able to say I love you to Taemin would be the end of their relationship.

Did he love Taemin? Jongin wasn't sure. Because honestly he had never thought he loved anyone outside his family. None of his girlfriends in the past had ever inched past mere lust and liking. And none of them had ever told him they loved him either.