The Secrets We Keep - Taekai

the one with the worries

Jongin wasn't really sure who to turn to in order to talk out his worries about becoming a father. He still didn't feel like he could, or should, talk to Taemin about it - deep inside he really knew he should but he was worried that all he would end up doing would be freak Taemin out about everything.

And most of the EXO members were off the table cause they hadn't gone through what he was going through.

However, Jongdae had gone through something at least somewhat similar to what Jongin was going through. The becoming a father part at the very least, so even if Jongdae couldn't relate to the fact that Jongin was doing it with the help of a surrogate for him and his boyfriend - there was at least the whole father thing they had in common.

Jongdae had replied back to Jongin's text of can we meet up and talk? I really could use some advice quicker than Jongin had expected.

"I'm just glad I can finally give advice to someone." Jongdae said, smiling over at Jongin. "So what's up, Nini? Feels like it's been forever since we've gotten to talk like this."

"I might be in the midst of freaking out about everything that has to do with Taemin and I having kids."

Jongdae nodded, "I get that. I mean I can't relate entirely to the situation, but at the same time I can relate a lot to it. I was a nervous wreck leading up to having a kid too, but I guess what got me through it was the fact of knowing that at the end of everything I was going to be doing something I always wanted to eventually do - be a father."

"That's why I wanted to get together with you and talk cause you're the only member to have gone through having a baby so far. Part of me wishes we were at the point to be open about it, like you were. But I don't think we are, cause all the questions that would be asked."

"It was definitely hard to be open about the whole situation, but I didn't want EXO-L's to feel left out of everything. But I understand why you all have chose not be open about it so far. I don't think I would be ready to if I was in your position either, because like you said there would be so many questions. There was enough backlash when I announced my plans, I can only imagine how much backlash you fear you'll get when you eventually come to the place of being ready to be open."

"We both have some extra circumstances when it comes to our situations." Jongin said, "With you, there was the whole premarital angle that people wanted to bring up. For me I know they'll not only bring up the fact that the twins will be born out of wedlock - it's still going to be iffy how people will react to it being us to be having kids together."

"Yeah, it will be. And that's going to be something that you all have to deal with, I knew I'd be dealing with the whole out of wedlock scenario when we found out and it's weird cause you have to accept it when facing letting the public know about your future family. There was almost like a sense of relief when I told the world, there was a lot of worry that came along with the world knowing but at the same time I wasn't holding in a secret anymore.

"With news like what we share in common, Jongin, there's bound to be backlash. Because we aren't following the way things have been viewed as how they should be done. Our kids aren't how traditionally people think kids should come around - but we did it and are doing it. It happens, we're just bringing it to light that it happens."

"You stepped up to the plate in a way most idols wouldn't have, Jongdae. I'm just disappointing my ancestors." Jongin said, laughing.

Jongdae let out a laugh, nodding. "I think we both disappointed our ancestors a little. But I appreciate the compliment that I stepped up. I think you're going to be stepping up as well, Jongin. Just in a bit of a different way. You and your boyfriend wanted kids - while you didn't necessarily give them to him, because biologically you all couldn't produce your own - but you're on this journey with him. You, Taemin, Jung Ah, and Sehun are all on this journey together. And it's great to watch you all figuring this all out together."