Stacie: spread legs, not hate!
Fat Amy: uh you mean love?
Stacie: that's what I said
--------
Aubrey: so how was your day?
Chloe: it was cool. Had a morning jog, caught up with Maps, barged into a girl's shower, lunch on the quad-
Aubrey: wait, what did you say?
Chloe: lunch on the quad?
---------
Beca, to her newborn: baby, say "mommy". Come on! Mommy!
Jesse: no, say "daddy"! Daaddyyy!
The baby: d-d-d...
Jesse: yes! Say it!
The baby: D-D-DUDE!
Jesse: of course that was gonna be her first word
Beca: dude it's not my fault!
Jesse: *raises eyebrows*
Beca: ohh
---------
Emily: which props do you want us to use at the convention performance?
Chloe: yes
--------
Beca: hey Flo, where are you from?
Flo: the kitchen
Beca: no, I mean in general
Flo: the east of the house?
--------
Chloe: Chicago dumped me...
Aubrey: it's ok, there's plenty of fish in the ocean!
Chloe, frowning: I don't wanna date a fish
--------
Beca: that's it, I'm leaving the Bellas!
Aubrey: good!
Beca: ...
Aubrey: you're still here?
Beca: you guys are my ride home
--------
Emily: *drunkenly stumbles*
Beca: how many bottles have you had to drink?
Emily: three
Beca: three?!
Emily: ...two?
*******
A/N: fun fact, the last one actually happened to me. Thought I might as well turn it into PP material lol
But anyways, are we feeling another oneshot soon? 🤔 Let me know if you'd like that! Xx
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect Barden Bellas
FanfictionThings the Bellas haven't said, but probably would have. Plus some original oneshots. The jokes used are all from the mind of yours truly, not from any other franchise (tv shows, books, movies, etc.) unless stated, so if you're gonna use them , ple...
