Rosa Nera: Saving Grace (BWWM) | ✓

Love.

"I fell in love with the expression in his eyes when he looked at me."
~Jacqueline Simon Gunn

It didn't really surprise her, not at first, at least. What surprised her was the pain behind his words.

It hurt him to like her, it broke him to like her. The realisation made her flinch, it hurt her that he was hurt.

She couldn't find the words needed to make him feel better, instead, she'd just tightened her grip around his neck.

He replicated the squeeze, knowing full well that she wasn't at all reciprocating his feelings.

"Tell me, Gigi, do you know what it feels like to be so bounded by the same thing that kills you? To be so in love, that nothing else matters, not even your slowly eroding heart, do you what that feels like to love?" He had loosened his grip around her, letting her pull away from him.

"I- uh..." She couldn't respond, she had nothing to say at all.

She kept her eyes on him, watching as several emotions passed over his face all at once

She couldn't say she understood what he felt, because she didn't. She had never really been in love before, maybe a few juvenile crushes here and there, but nothing serious.

"Of course you don't." He chuckled half heartedly, lifting his right hand to grab onto the fabric in front of his heart. "You wouldn't be this- pristine if you did."

He tilted his head slightly, eyes scrutinizing her every feature. "You're too, kept, to be that hurt."

"See, people like me deserve that. We deserve to get our hearts ripped out, our brains trampled on and our spirits crushed beyond recognition. We deserve that. I- I deserve that." His fist tightened around the fabric, making it wrinkle as he looked down and let his long hair hide his face.

She could see that he indeed felt all those things. He felt as though his heart was ripped out of his chest, his mind was trampled on and his spirit was crushed and beaten beyond recognition.

Yet she couldn't sympathize with him, she couldn't even say sorry. She couldn't utter a single word and just watched as he stayed leaned against the wall, his hand gripping at his chest.

"You couldn't possibly imagine the things I've done. I don't deserve love. Do you know dangerous I am, huh, Gigi? I don't deserve love, 'cause I've done-" He paused, his eyes lifting to her slightly trembling hands.

"You do know how dangerous I am, don't you?" He scoffed, the chuckled, then full out laughed as though he had heard the funniest joke ever told.

"Gigi, do you actually think I would hurt you of all people?" He pushed himself off the wall, walking over to her and wrapping her hands in his.

"I love you, and you know how possessive I can get Gigi. I hate it when people take you away from me, and I hate it more to see you look at him the same way I want you to look at me. Call it jealousy, but I hate to see the way he looks at you. Have you seen it? The expression in his eyes when you walk in, have you seen it?" He grinned, lifting his chin slightly. "I would never hurt you, Gigi, I'd only ever kill for you."

Such a romantic statement sounded so evil coming from him, she just had to take step back.

"Come, my mother would want to see you again." He smiled brightly, tugging her along with him as though nothing had happened.

Her heart ran wild in her chest, Shawn, she thought, He wants to kill Shawn.

Her face straightened out into a serious look, a deathly serious look. Like hell I'd let that happen!