Jilted Junkies :||: Kenny x Reader || South Park Fanfiction

Chapter Twenty-Five

[One Month Passes]

The Minecraft Destroyers. Kenny adopted Karen's name for the group of boy-heros after they claimed war against Coon and Chaos. They all crowded around the computer, watching Cartman's newest live stream, praying for him to give up clues to his suspicious plans. He had Pewdiepie and Jacksepticeye on his server.

"Lemme just chop down this tree real fast, Pewds." The Coon told his multiplayer, 102 Million subscriber companion.

"What's the scoop, Kite?" Mysterion questioned in his dark, mysterious voice as he barged into the room.

"I don't know, I'm trying to listen!" Kite told him, pressing an ice pack against Toolshed's swollen head. Mysterion stayed by the door, listening to the PC from across the room.

"Alright bro, I almost got enough XP to get mending." Pewdiepie responded.

"Nice, okay, because I'm on level Twenty-Two right now." Jack explained to the Swedish man.

"Ey, almost regained all your levels back from when you died in that dungeon, huh Sean?" Coon laughed.

"Bah! It was those darn skeletons, that's what got me!!" Jack groaned.

"Anything yet?" Mosquito questioned.

"Shhhh!!" Human Kite hushed him, trying to listen to the audio.

"Ugh, this stream is dry as hell. They aren't even being funny anymore." Tupperware complained, fiddling with the boot around his sprained ankel.

"Would you guys shut up!?" Human Kite told him.

"Oh, how could I forget? Gamers, I needed to tell you something. In two days, I, The Coon, am going to meet Michael Obama on a new live stream on Thursday." Coon grinned at the camera. Human Kite's jaw dropped. Now everyone was tuning in carefully.

"Michael Obama? That's crazy, bro." Pewdiepie laughed.

"Yeah, why in the bloody hell would you be talking to her for?" Jack questioned, standing at a crafting table on Coon's screen.

"Well, she's going to be running for president in 2020. And, you know, it'd just be good to meet such a strong, intelligent black woman before this next year. After all, she'll be a run for my money in the upcoming election." Coon laughed, causing the other two to laugh awkwardly as well.

"Wait, what??" Jack questioned again.

"Kid, you can't be runner up for the United States Presidency... can you?" Pewdiepie told him in slight wonder.

"Oh, there's always a way to slip past the system. Just you wait, you guys. I'll be all over Buzzfeed by next Monday." He insisted, making them laugh again.

"Red alert- RED ALERT!!" Human Kite jumped to his feet, "Mysterion!! I think this is it!! Dr. Timothy, what do your notes say??"

"Timmy Timmy, Tim Tim Timmy!!" Dr. Timothy read the notes back.

"Aha!! He's planning on taking over the country by somehow law bending his way to becoming President!!" Human Kite exclaimed.

"Excellent work Human Kite." Mysterion smiled, "Do you have any ideas for a plan of action?"

"Actually yes! Quite a few!!" Human Kite told him with pride.

"Please get to work then. We're gonna need a plan of attack. We can weaken him bad before the meet up, keep him from showing," Mysterion instructed, "In fact, I'll find a way to get him alone."

"You got it!" Human Kite saluted to him. They began to chatter about the big news, cluttering around the screen again. Mysterion quietly stepped out of his room. He walked down the short hallway and opened the door to The Little Mystery's room. She had her face uncovered by her mask as she sat by her bed.