What if we Drown (21)

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The bus idled on the side of the road, the driver loading the last of the baggage into the underbody storage compartment

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The bus idled on the side of the road, the driver loading the last of the baggage into the underbody storage compartment.

Tuesday had been a morning of melancholic reflection for the Holland family. After a quiet breakfast of bacon and eggs together reminiscing about the time they'd spent together during the last two weeks, Derek had arrived with Kass' ute and helped Zion with loading the bags into the bed.

The four of them now stood outside the Glassmont bus station giving their final goodbyes before Zion and Ashlyn's mother returned to the city.

"Promise you'll message more often?" Her mother sniffed, pulling back from the hug. Ashlyn nodded, a miserable smile filling her cheeks.

Though they'd had their rough patches the past two weeks, Ashlyn was delighted with the opportunity she'd had to spend some more time with her mother, mending some bridges and reconnecting. Baby steps had been taken by both of them, and Ashlyn was beginning to understand her mother's approach to everything a lot more than she had previously. For the first time in years, Ashlyn felt safe talking to her mom.

I will, Ashlyn answered, pulling her mother into another hug. She wasn't ready to let go. Not yet. Why did saying goodbye, even for just a little while, have to be so hard? Ashlyn pulled back again, a pinch of hope stirring in her chest, one which was quickly smothered by the doubts that lurked.

It's not too late to move back you know? Ashlyn's smile was devoid of much hope, knowing that her mother would never agree. She had her life with Luke now, and she was happy. Ashlyn could see it in the way she talked about him. She couldn't ask her mother to give all of that up just so that she would feel better.

The drawn line of her mother's mouth and the direction of her gaze told Ashlyn that all her statement had done was cause her mother to feel guilty at the answer she couldn't provide. That same guilt was effortlessly transferred into Ashlyn, and she wished that she had never said anything.

"Sweetheart," she started to answer, avoiding eye contact.

I know. Ashlyn tried to mask the sadness she felt at the unspoken answer, but she knew no amount of resolve could erase all the traces. Her smile trembled, and Ashlyn glanced away before the tears that prickled at the back of her eyes could blur her vision.

A couple of paces away, Zion and Derek huddled in muted conversation, the set of their shoulders, and the incline of their heads indicating the topic was of much more importance than a simple goodbye.

Derek held out his hand to shake, but Zion shook his head, took the offered hand, and pulled Derek in for a hug, clapping him on the back. Yet again Ashlyn was in awe at how quickly Derek had made a place for himself in her life.

When the two men pulled back, Ashlyn noticed that they clasped hands for a moment longer, something passed from Zion to Derek. Ashlyn squinted, confused with their secrecy. She knew that there were things that she didn't need to know, but that didn't stop the unease at not knowing from creeping in.

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