What if we Drown (22)

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Ashlyn's stomach wound in a tight knot

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Ashlyn's stomach wound in a tight knot. All the reasons she shouldn't do something like this came flooding back, reminding her of how much she stood to lose. The dormant panic lay in waiting, the decision she made next capable of either causing it to grow or to fade.

The more time she'd allowed herself to dwell on what Kass had said about tonight, the more she'd wanted to message Derek and tell him that something had come up and she wouldn't be able to make it. Each time that she had gone to type that message, or tried to hit send, it was as though something interfered, commanding her fingers away from the button.

With a groan, she had thrown the phone on the sofa and paced her living room, considering all of her options. By the time she'd accepted that she had to go, if for no other reason than to clear the air and prove that Kass' interpretation was incorrect, a path had been worn into the carpet by her heavy steps.

As much as she didn't want to send Derek the wrong message, she now wasn't even sure what the correct message was. Did Derek think that this was a date? Or was this just a friend helping another friend, just as she'd thought? Darn Kass for filling her head with such doubts. She had to know how her words would have messed with Ashlyn's nerves.

She'd decided to walk to Derek's apartment in an attempt to reduce the anxiety she was now feeling. To begin with, the fresh air worked as it filled her lungs and cleared her head. But the further she moved from the safe confines of her home, the more the air started to suffocate her.

Twice she stopped, turned, and began walking back towards her house only to have her conscience step in reminding her that it would be rude to bail on him. And so, each time she turned back around again and took those agonizing steps that would lead her back to Salt, back to his apartment.

We're just friends. It's dinner. Some ASL lessons. Nothing different from what you did with Kass. Just friends. You can do this. Ashlyn continued to repeat these thoughts to herself, hopeful that with the repetition, she'd believe them. By the time she stood outside his apartment, she'd only marginally succeeded in convincing herself that this was most definitely not a date.

With butterflies in her stomach, and her head swimming with possibilities, Ashlyn turned away from the door she'd stood before for ten minutes and proceeded to creep back towards the stairs, towards her escape quietly.

At precisely that moment, however, the door opened behind her, and the smell of crisp apple and vanilla, with a pinch of salt, baited her senses. Hesitantly she turned and smiled, careful to hide the guilt she felt being caught in the act of leaving.

Derek stood in the doorway, his hair slightly disheveled, a sheen of sweat glistening on his forehead. He gave her a smile that was both sweet and joyous, with just a touch of embarrassment, for what she wasn't sure. An unexpected warmth rushed through her, spilling to her fingers and her toes.

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