HURTING (FOR NORA WEST-ALLEN)

BARGAINING

Barry parked his car in front of the old building and waited for a few minutes to find the strength to walk through the door.
He got out of the car and walked into his childhood church which was a block from his parents house and his childhood home.
He entered the church and quietly took a seat in one of the pews. The last time he had been here was his wedding day. He had since found a church much closer to his new home.
He sat down and took a look around. There was no one else there which was quite normal for a Monday morning.
All his life he had heard about the goodness of God and how God was faithful and would always protect his own. He had always believed that. He had always told anyone who cared to listen about how favored he was by God: to have his parents, to have found Iris, to have his little princess. He had always said that Iris was proof of God's love for him.....
Lately, he had begun to doubt if God really loved him and if he did,then why would he take his daughter from him.
Sitting there,he felt his heart break into a million pieces and he raised his eyes to heaven and yelled at whatever angel was assigned to Nora. What he was doing at the time the doctor was administering the wrong treatment.....
With tears in his eyes,he begged God to send back his little girl and promised to be a better man, father and husband. He vowed to treat the janitor at work better, to increase the salary of his staff.
To spend less time at work and more time with his family.
To listen to Iris when she tells him to accept his parents dinner invitation. To forgive his Dad for the times he wasn't around when he was younger. To appreciate his mother more for always being there for him and his family.
Perhaps this was his punishment for loving his daughter the way he did. He knows he always had her on a pedestal but she was his child,he couldn't help but love her as much as he did.
He tried his best to let her know he loved her and tried to be there for her but he ended up being just like his dad.
He promised to treat Iris better. He knew he had been spending all his time at work before the accident but he did it to give his family a better life.....
He even promised to give his life for hers if it comes to it........
He just needed his little princess to live,he needed to see her smile again,to see her give him a hug and to tell him about her day. To play chess with her,to dance with her,to sing to her.....to be a better dad......
If he was being honest,he just needed to be her dad again.......... That was the best version of him. He was meant to be her dad. He didn't know who he was supposed to be anymore....
He remembered when they were struggling, just after she was born. They could barely afford to pay their bills but he felt like he could move mountains...just seeing her smile and holding her,he felt like a million bucks.....
Now he feels completely broken, he can only imagine how Iris was feeling......
Iris.......... He had to go home......to her..........

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