fragile | jelix

chapter 7

i finally worked up the courage to do the thing i had planned out: to go and break into seán's house just to see him for a few minutes. i really was risking it all.

my dad wasn't home so it's not like i had to tell him where i was going or face the chance of him saying i wasn't allowed to leave the house, which was one less thing for me to worry about. i ran down the stairs and out of my front door. i didn't have time to waste, i had no idea how long jack's parents would be.

i stopped running and walked cautiously to jack's house, eventually reaching the unlocked front door. i decided to look in the windows. in the left one i saw nothing, but in the right i saw a woman fast asleep on a sofa. she had to be his auntie. this was my chance. if i went any later there was a chance she'd wake up and find me. i opened the front door as quietly as possible and kept the noise to a minimum. i tiptoed inside and didn't shut the door completely behind me as to not make a loud noise.

i was in his house. i was actually in there. this was an actual crime i was committing, and i was doing it all to visit a boy who i wrote letters to for a few weeks. there was obviously a reason he stopped doing that and i wanted to know what it was. i mean, there were a lot of things i wanted to know.

i stood in the hallway for a few moments just taking in the sights. the walls, the decorations, the pictures. until i heard a noise that i could have sworn emerged from the living room where jack's aunt was. i was tempted to just turn back and leave the house, but i was in there now, and my courage would have been for nothing. so i proceeded to head towards and up the stairs.

on the stairs i noticed there was a chair lift beside it. perhaps somebody in his family was disabled and unable to walk?

when i finally got to the top of the staircase i observed the several doors in front of me. there were about five. any one of those five had to be his room. that's when i suddenly found myself reconsidering my choice. that's when i started to think that all of this was a bad idea. what if i scared jack and he ended up calling for his aunt? what then? what if he didn't like me and it would just be really awkward and embarrassing for the both of us?

i looked at each door, realising they were all super conveniently labelled. that was great for me. the first door read bathroom. the second read florrie and donald, who i assumed were his parents names. the third read storage, the fourth read guest, and the final door, the one at the very end of the corridor, was labelled seán. that was his room. he was right behind that door. the boy that talked to me for weeks and then suddenly stopped was in that room behind that door. and i was supposedly about to meet him. i was going to see him for the first time, and that would be the first time he would see me. i walked towards the door quietly and grabbed the door handle with my right hand. with my left i knocked on the door and waited for a reply. i didn't get one at first, until i knocked for a second time. then a quiet, soft voice spoke out to me.

"come in."

this was it. the moment. the moment i was going to see him. i never thought it would come to that in my entire life. i began to slowly turn the door handle, my heart in my throat at that point; i was so damn nervous, it was hard not to feel like throwing up then and there. i knew i had to open the door at some point soon. or else i would lose my chance. i turned the handle a little more before finally pushing the door open, entering jack's bedroom, and shutting the door behind me as quietly as possible. i looked around the room and my eyes became glued to a small boy sitting on a bed, staring at me with wide eyes. that was him.

that was him.