fragile | jelix

chapter 13

i was once again visiting jack. i aimed to do so every day, i didn't want to miss out on any opportunities with him. in the short amount of time we had known each other, we'd actually gotten quite close and we were pretty good friends. we talked a lot and we had a lot of laughs. i had a lot of fun being around him, more fun than i had had in a while.

when i climbed in the window i looked over at him eagerly, excited to talk to him once more. but when i did so, i noticed something off about him: he was sniffling and his eyes were red and puffy. he looked like he had been crying. when he looked at me he seemed startled, as if he wasn't expecting me to be there. he dried his eyes with his arm quickly before putting on the fakest smile i had ever seen him wear.

"hey." he greeted me, his voice cracking a little bit.

"hi...you alright?" i asked in a concerned tone.

"yeah, i'm fine. you good?" i nodded.

"have you been crying?" he stared at me for a few seconds with his mouth open slightly, as if i had just said something super offensive and he was trying to process it.

"no. no i haven't." he said sternly in a kind of cold manner. i was quite taken aback by his tone and decided to just take his word for it and not ask him again.

i began to look around the room. i had never really done that. i had only ever focused on him and i had never actually paid attention to my surroundings. i could see pictures hanging up on wall near the door. i walked over so that i could observe them. the whole time jack said nothing, so i assumed i wasn't doing anything wrong. i finally got close enough to the images to make out what was on them. there were many polaroid images of a young boy and a young girl. after a few seconds i recognised the boy to be jack when he was a little boy. i smiled. he was cute back then too.

"who's that?" i asked, pointing at the girl in the image. the image i was looking at was one of them hugging and smiling at the camera. they were standing outside. was he allowed to leave the house when he was younger?

"oh...the girl?" i nodded.

"that's my sister, rebecca." i didn't even know he had a sister. i thought he was an only child.

"oh. i never would have guessed. does she live here?" i queried. his voice trembled a little as he answered.

"yeah. her ashes are in the living room." he didn't speak again after he said that. a wave of guilt washed over me as i stood and watched him grow more and more uncomfortable. i felt horrible for even asking him. it was clear it had an effect on him and that it upset him.

"i'm so sorry...i didn't mean to make you upset, i had no idea. i'm really sorry for your loss, and for bringing it up-"

"it's fine, really. you don't have to apologise. it was a few years ago anyway. don't worry about it." he smiled at me weakly. great. he was already crying when i went in the room and now i had made him even more upset.

"if you don't mind me asking...what happened?" oh yeah, as if asking that's gonna make him feel any better. nice one, asshole.

"she had a condition and it ended up killing her. there was nothing that could have been done to keep her alive."

"what was the condition?" he stared at me in deadly silence, striking a little bit of intimidation in me.

"i'd prefer not to say." i knew he meant it. there was no point in pressuring him to tell me, it would anger him and make him more upset. at the end of the day, it was his privacy, and i had to respect it, no matter how curious i was. no matter how much i wanted to know, if i wanted him to be happy and have trust in me, i needed to wait for him to tell me when was ready. and that's what really mattered.