Hidden Troubles

14 | A Blessing And A Curse

Natasha traced small circles on Loki's pale hand, comforted by the steady beats emitted from the machine monitoring the god's heartbeat. The events of only moments ago were blurred and chaotic in her mind, no matter how much she tried to make sense of it. She shook from the aftermath of suffering from a mix of emotions that were just too vast to name. She was barely aware now of Bruce fiddling around with multiple drip bags, Tony reviewing x-rays they must've taken at some point; she couldn't remember when, only that she had been at Loki's side since he collapsed, never more than a few feet away.

Thor paced around, forehead lines heavy with worry as he darted his gaze to and from his brother, as though he was hoping that as some point he would glance again to see those emerald green eyes. Steve stood by Clint, almost as a sort of guard to ensure that Clint did nothing disastrously impulsive. The SHIELD agent looked at the unconscious god with a mix of hate, disgust, and another emotion peeking through, concealed well to most but not to Natasha.

"Friend Banner, have you found what is wrong with him?" Thor's concerned voice broke the heavy silence.

"Well, he's got all sorts of problems. From what I can see he's far too malnourished—it's like he hasn't eaten in weeks. All these bags are full of minerals and vitamins he's missing out on—and there's a lot there. He's definitely underweight, I think we can all see that."

"Yeah and I've got a lot more to add to that," Tony interjected, before placing a bunch of the scans on a cleared out desk.

"See that? That's all the scar tissue underneath his skin. That's a lot. And I mean way too much. We've got broken bones that haven't healed properly, and especially his ribs. They look like someone's tried to fix them in the wrong place. They've healed, but really badly. We'll have to break them again if we wanted them to heal correctly."

They all looked a bit green after Tony's information. Natasha was slightly concerned at the shade of green Bruce went; she couldn't ascertain as to whether it was Hulk green or the type of green they'd all gone. She knew the Other Guy could come out when he was angry, but she didn't know if it could come out from anger for someone else.

"That's not all, is it?" Natasha whispered. That couldn't be all. Not by the way Loki looked and was. Not by how broken he had become.

"No," Tony sighed heavily. "From what it looks like, he's been abused...in more intimate ways." This time Natasha could feel the oncoming tears, and tried to drive them away. She couldn't show weakness. She was the Black Widow. She's dealt with stuff like this before.

But when did she grow to care so much for Loki?

Thor came forward and kissed Loki's forehead gently.

"Forgive me, brother."

***

They'd all now gathered in the corridor next to the medilab, the glass wall serving its use in keeping an eye on the sleeping god.

"Thor, I've got to ask. When did Loki last eat?"

Thor frowned. "I do not...I do not recall him eating during my current stay here. He ate before my departure, perhaps a little less than usual, but ate nonetheless. As of now however, I do not recall such a moment."

"If I may, Dr Banner," JARVIS' voice chimed in. "Mr Odinson has not eaten since ten days ago, and from what my cameras have told me, that was only a few grapes. He has been eating increasingly less for the past several months. He has not had a proper meal for two months and six days."

"Two months and six days. Without a proper meal." A complete sense of shock overcame them all. How had they missed that he hadn't eaten properly in months?

"JARVIS, what does Loki do in his room?"

"From what I can see Dr Banner, he tends to sleep a lot. Until a couple of weeks ago, he used to exercise quite intensely in his room, often until he passed out. More often nowadays he will wake up just as Mr Odinson has left to go to the bathroom, and then return to go to sleep again."

"Do you know what he does in the bathroom?"

"I'm afraid not, Doctor."

"I don't have cameras in the bathroom." Tony added. "I mean he deserves some privacy, at least when it comes to that... stuff." Tony gestured awkwardly. The small joke almost lightened the tension. Almost.

"JARVIS, how much does Loki drink?"

"He seems to be drinking fairly little, Doctor. From what I can see, it must be approximately 1 litre as an average per day. And occasionally he will have coffee, though more often than before since Mr Odinson's return."

"Thank you, JARVIS."

"How did we not see all this?" Steve voiced their thoughts.

"If it was one of us we would have."

"That's no excuse Clint. He is one of us—yes he isn't an Avenger and yes he was once a madman maniac trying to take over the world, but he lives with us. In that sense he is one of us."

"My brother has always been good at hiding his troubles."

"But we should've noticed, Point Break. We're sorry." Tony apologised, and the rest of the team nodded their agreement.

"And how did he even survive? One litre a day—that would basically kill any human."

"Asgardian bodies are built to endure much. Frost Giant bodies alike. It is both a blessing and a curse." Thor looked towards his younger brother, thinking of the torture he must have endured. How no matter how grave the damage, he always survived, always healed, ready for another round.

"What are you thinking, Bruce?" Natasha asked, turning the group's attention to the pensive doctor.

"JARVIS, send me weekly pictures of Loki from the start of his stay here to now."

"I'm afraid some of the pictures I have won't be of the best quality Doctor Banner."

"That's fine. Send them to my tablet in the medilab." Bruce opened the glass doors and rushed in to retrieve it.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm thinking..." Bruce muttered as he opened up the tablet to display all the pictures till now, a picture of him lying on the hospital bed.

"Speak up, Green Giant. You're onto something aren't you? I can hear your brain nattering from here." Tony walked over to stand by Bruce's side, looking down at the tablet. The rest of them soon followed suit, Thor's tall head peering over their crouched over forms.

"Think about it. He doesn't eat. He doesn't drink. He spent a lot of his time sleeping, and if he wasn't doing that he was exercising until a couple of weeks ago. He's started wearing really baggy clothing. He won't come out of his room to socialise, won't join us for meals. And you can see from these pictures that he's lost weight. A lot of weight."

"So wha— Oh." Tony stepped back, slightly paler now, the revelation having struck him. The others looked at him, puzzled.

"What?" Natasha demanded.

"I'm thinking he's...well maybe...he's anorexic."

The heart monitor erupted into rapid beeping.