Jungkook's Light

Chapter 17

~Jiwoo~

One and a half weeks went by quickly with all of us being too busy to see each other. Sometimes I'm thankful that Jungkook and the members were busy with the concert preparations overseas. It meant that we get to see little of each other. I thought it was good enough for me but I didn't realise that I was falling more and more into the guilt and the depression that still lingers.

I glanced in the mirror, watching the girl in the mirror. I was used to seeing the hurt in her eyes but even now, it still hurts to see that pain in my eyes. It's hard being around Jungkook because he doesn't know about my past... if he does, I wonder if he'll really kick me out of his life and break off this engagement. I wonder if I'll ever see that smile of his again. If I'll ever feel his lips against mine and his arms around me, holding me close to him.

I heard a knock on my door followed by Jimin's voice.

"Are you going with us, Jiwoo?"

I quickly slipped under my bed sheets and pretended to sleep as I heard them talking outside my door.

"What, is she asleep?" Seokjin asked.

"I don't know," I heard Jimin replied, worriedly. "Is she okay?"

"Maybe she's tired," Hoseok suggested. "She's been working a lot these days. It might be too much for her."

"What's too much for her?" I heard Jungkook asked.

"Uh, nothing," Jimin cleared his throat. "I don't think Jiwoo will be able to hang with us tonight."

"Why?"

"She might be sleeping," Hoseok explained, nervously. I smiled to myself- Hoseok can't lie at all, can he? "It's best if we let her sleep."

I closed my eyes tightly as I heard the door opened. I felt their eyes on my back and prayed that they will just leave me alone. I slowly let out my breath when the door finally closed and I could hear them talking as they were walking away. That's when I turned in my bed, only to be faced with Jungkook.

I jerked back.

"What, are you scared?" Jungkook asked, raising his eyebrows.

"N-no," I mumbled, moving into a sitting position. "Why are you here?"

"Why are you pretending to sleep?"

"I was sleeping," I lied.

Jungkook shook his head. "Why are you avoiding me these days?"

"You've been avoiding me too."

"Why are you letting me?"

I bite my lip, avoiding his gaze. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to talk."

I swallowed. "About what?"

"Gunho."

My eyes widened and I glanced up to meet Jungkook's eyes. "What?" I whispered, my heart suddenly racing at the mention of Gunho.

"Who's Gunho?"

"I...how do you know Gunho?"

"I don't," Jungkook crossed his arms. "You said his name in your sleep. I heard it. So, I'm asking you right now. Who is Gunho?"

I said nothing, my heart racing.

"Jiwoo."

I lifted my eyes to meet Jungkook's. His studied me for a brief moment before he asked, "Tell me who Gunho is."

"I—can't," I shook my head.

His control snapped. "What?"

"I can't," I said, shaking my head. "I won't. Just—go. Leave me. I want to sleep."

We watched each other in silent for a long time until Jungkook couldn't stand the silence anymore. He moved towards me and I shuffled back away from him.

He stopped.

Our eyes locked.

"Why are you moving away?" he asked, tone low and furious.

I said nothing.

We continued to look at each other for a brief moment until Jungkook shot a dark look at me and then said, angrily, "Have it your way."

With that, he turned and slammed the door behind him.

I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the tears. Here we go again.