Hey, Can I Rant?

057

Chapter Theme: Breakeven by The Script

•••

February 7, 2020
Midnight

Pagkatapos kumanta ni Vince ay agad akong pumunta sakanya, leaving Franz and Shanti behind.

Mas okay nato, yung isang bagsakan lang yung sakit. Kasi kapag hindi ko to gagawin ngayon, mababaliw na siguro ako.

I followed Vince's steps, papunta siya sa parking area. I can see him constantly forming a fist on his hand and shaking his head.

He was walking fast, parang ayaw niya atang makasabay ako?

My heart clenched.

I was walking behind him when he stopped, I remained a safe distance.

Nasa harap na pala kami ng isang sasakyan, he opened the door and said, "Hope in."

I nod at him and went inside, seconds later nasa loob nadin siya.

There was silence, parang nagdedebate kami (in silence) kung sino yung unang magsalita.

"Speak before I'll kick you out of my car." Umawang yung labi ko, h-how can he say those things to me? To the person he said he loved...

"You have 10 minutes." He added.

"Vince naman..."

"Speak now."

I sighed and readied myself for an another heartbreak.

"Can you revive the engine and drive somewhere else?" I pleaded. I saw him closed his eyes and controlled himself, he sighed and without saying anything he drove the car.

It was a pretty awful ride, we were both silent. Not until he spoke,"To where?"

"Just drive." I said and formed my hand into a fist, my nails dugged and created a scratch on my palm because of it's force.

"Stop that, you're hurting yourself." He said when he saw what I did.

I smiled and him, "I'm okay."

"You're not."

"I am--"

"Fuck it, Drianna. Kung ganito ka lang palagi then just leave the damn car! I don't wanna play games. Just tell me what you want kasi ako, naguguluhan na ako sayo," He halted the car and closed his eyes, "Naguguluhan na ako... A-ako ba o si Geo?" His voice sounded like a whisper.

My heart clutched at my sight.

"Kasi nung nakita kita sa Manila kasama siya, sinabihan ko yung sarili ko na tama na siguro, baka hindi talaga tayo pwede. Tas ngayon, ako naman yung sinundan mo kahit siya yung unang umalis? Tangina Drianna wag kang mamangka sa dalawang ilog!" I fliched when he punched the steering wheel, the reason why I flinched because the horn.

"V-vince..."

"Stop calling me that. Just stop. Stop calling my name and start fucking explaning kasi kung nababaliw ka na... paano na kaya ako?" The last words came out like a whisper.

"I-I'm sorry..."

"Para saan?" He murmured, "Dahil may iba ka na? Dahil hindi ka naghintay? Dahil hindi mo tinupad--"

I slapped him.

"T-the fuck, Vince? Sa lahat ng t-tao na nakakilala sakin... I never expected you to say those things." Tears rolling down my cheeks.

"You can't blame me, Drianna. Sinong hindi masasaktan kung sinabihan ka ng taong mahal mo na maghihintay siya tas makikita ko lang siya pala na may ibang kasama? I'm not fucking dumb..." His eyes were fixed on the road.

"Geo and I... we're not dating. Yeah, he's courting pero nilinaw ko na wala talaga yong pinatutunguhan, but Geo... he's persistent. So I kinda leaded him on," I sobbed, "God, I feel so bad... I u-used a person to forget you, I felt like I'm not worth taking risk for--"

"Drianna, you're too important kaya ayokong magtake ng risk, I don't want to lose you just because I took that risk. I was a coward, yes. But better being a coward than losing you." He said, staring at me, his eyes were intese.

Katahimikan.

"Maybe this is what we lack? Communication." I told him, now that were relaxed... a bit.

"Yeah, sorry for that. Bigla bigla kasi akong nawawala... Sorry for being a coward."

"Sorry for not trusting you. To be honest, LG woke me up. She was such an eye opener." I said, casually resting my back on the seat, "Sorry for using Geo to hopefully forget you but I knew I couldn't anyways; sorry for not understanding you're side kasi alam ko naman na you're fixing yourself and I was too. You were molding yourself into a better version for me pero Vince naman, e. Di naman yun kailangan. I love you for who you are, let it be the talkative internet you, or to silent personal you. The only question I have was, why not fix yourself with me?" It came out as a whisper.

"Because I don't want to use you just to fix myself..."

"Okay lang naman na gamitin mo ako, e."

"Pero ayoko," He stared at me. "Ayokong gamitin ka. All I want is to take care of you, to feed you, to sleep with you, to cherish you, and to make you teel how loved you are because you deserve everything." He smiled and cocked his head on his right.

We were silent again, looking at each other. We constantly smile at each other. Minsan, tinataas baba niya yung kilay niya kaya mapapatawa ako.

"I'll understand if you will stop whatever we had." I looked at him and mirrored the same intensity in his eyes.

"Who says about giving you up?" He smirked. He closed our distance, sobrang lapit niya! My lips started trembling & his breathing became heavy that I could hear it!

Hindi ko maiwasang mapatingin sa kanyang labi. Kahit madilim ang kotse, I can clearly still see how red it was. I unconsciously licked my lips.

"No more running." He said and closed our distance by crashing his lipt onto mine.