Her Guarded Heart

Chapter 10 - Homecoming Proposal

Scarlett

I always thought I didn't deserve love. I always thought nobody in this world would ever love me. It's just how I have been taught to think because of...them.

My biological mother and father.

Apparently I was a one-night stand, nothing more. My mother gave me away weeks after I was born, telling the orphanage that I was the cause of her life going downhill, and that she wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. My adoptive parents told me this, since I was too little to remember. I couldn't thank my adoptive parents enough for adopting me, and I love them dearly, but being without my real parents tore me apart. They made me believe no one could truly care about me – because if my mother cared, she wouldn't have given me away.

I keep everything to myself. All my secrets, thoughts, and questions. No one really cares how you feel, right? I never told my adoptive parents that I've always felt alone without my real parents. "Keep everything to yourself so no one hurts you" is what I tell myself. This way is the only way I know, because being vulnerable is weak. Letting people in is weak. Showing emotions is weak. And in this cruel world, you must be strong.

I've always been strong, it's all I know.

But if I only know strong, then how come I feel weak everytime I'm around him?

James makes me think – he makes me question my ways and his motives. I can never understand him or what he sees in me and it scares me. I've never had anyone interested in me the way he is, so of course I'm hesitant and suspicious.

I mean I've gone to the same school as him for years and just now he's noticing me? Why?

There's so many unanswered questions that I'm too scared to answer.

So I stayed far away from him.

Weeks went by. It was finally the middle of October. Thomas and James's mom called me several times asking me to babysit Thomas. I took the offer because she told me James wasn't going to be home so he couldn't watch Thomas.

During those weeks I stayed far away from James. I avoided him in the hallways and in the classrooms.

He even showed up to my work, but I ignored him and took orders from other tables.

Anyways, during the weeks I saved up my money to get my braids done. Could you believe it took eight hours for them to do my hair?! My head was unbelievably sore after but it was worth it. I hate having short, curly hair and the long braids make me feel pretty. Plus, having the braids in helps my natural hair grow!

On the bad side, Juliet — the girl that has a crush on James — moved into my AP geography class (3rd period) and my AP physics class (5th period). In both of those classes she would harass me and make sure no one chose me to be their partner. I don't know why she hates me but I think it has to do with James.

"Scarlett, are you going to ask anyone to homecoming?" Cassidy asked me as we walked down the hall to fourth period, pre-calculus.

I shrugged. "I don't have anyone in mind, are you?"

She scratched the back of her neck, her blonde hair moved to her right shoulder. "I...I really want to ask Chase but I'm afraid he will say no."

"No? Why would Chase say no?"

"Because he only likes me as a friend," she muttered, looking down at the ground with sadness.

I didn't know if he liked her more than a friend or not, so I avoided touching on it. "I'm positive he would say yes, Cass. Just ask him to come with our friend group, then when we get there, you can ask him to dance and get him to yourself."