hey, i'm having some issues right now. i was just writing this chapter to express how i feel.
i haven't been as happy lately, just...not okay.
now i do write to escape from everything that's been happening, and i do it to make you guys happy and get a chapter or two out.
school has been rough, my best friend currently got a girlfriend, who i currently dislike for some reasons.
but me and my best friend, currently got into a fight, involving her girlfriend.
she was saying that i was talking shit about her and i was flirting with my best friend, which we do all the time.
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yeah, uh. i have feelings for my best friend, she's also bisexual and we've been best friends for 4 years.
i have feelings for her, we play around and just yeah.
until Morgan ( her girlfriend ) came along and just made me jealous, and i just feel replaced.
i know my best friend more than anything, even though i'm stupid and dumb, i don't know anything and i mess everything up.
i know i can make something for her but no.
she had to like Morgan.
currently, me and my best friend are no more friends well, we're still friends but it's hard
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so yeah! my fucking 2019 has been great.
and now every time i go to school, i see my best friend and Morgan hanging out or whatever, talking, Morgan standing by her locker and laughing. like we always do
i just feel like fucking shit and i feel like she doesn't even give two fucking fucks about me
like i can't even express how i feel! i just have mixed emotions about it
like i feel happy then sad then jealous then depressed and just angry.
i just wanna fucking cry, i'm all alone currently
i have no other friends because i'm awkward and i can't make friends easily because it's hard
i just wanna fucking kill myself and let it be over with.
i know i sound selfish and all but i just miss my best friend, i miss the old times and i wish Morgan didn't have to fucking exist in my life or my best friend's
but whatever, i'm fucking alone by myself. i got rejected for the 5th time by someone i liked, so, i'm just over it at this point.
i'm over school, family, friends, everything.
but listen, i'm not that type of person who just tries to break up a couple.
i can tell that they're happy and all, and plus, they might not even stay together forever. it's fucking middle school, relationships in middle school don't even last long.
and the thing is, i don't even think Morgan don't even care about her! it just makes me angry and fucking pissed but whatever.
i have candy and food, those are my only friends now, if you guys wanna be friends, don't be scare to hit me in the DM's because i'm literally done at this point.
anyway, thanks for 80k on the dare. you guys are the best 💛
