my scarred mate (book three) (completed)

3. destiny

After taking a shower i headed back to Jessica office. it was currently 7 in the morning she shouldn't have a patient until 9 that's usually were she squeezed me in. to clear any confusion Jessica use to be my therapist when me and the girls lived here in Washington dc... i went to her alone and no one knew... because if they did then i would have to tell them why and all that extra shit and i didn't feel like doing that being more of a burden!.

"i told you, you'll be back here"

i roll my eyes at her bluntness! if it wasn't for her i would in jail, a crazy house, or worst dead

"do you have to rub it in my face?"

"yea a little! I've been working with you for four month and u give me hell!"

"you love me and you know it"

"have a seat lets get down to bushiness"

"i hate when you do that"

"were not here to talk about getting our nails done destiny... were here to talk bout your actions and your problems and how to fix them"

"i just want to escape all of it"

"you cant, you cant escape the past, the illness you have, or the fact that your still hurting from shit you have no control over"

"i should have fought"

"you were just a kid! you were twelve years old and the fact that you came to me at the age you did proves you want better life for yourself"

"i was weak"

"you were a kid in pain when this shit happened"

"what happened to the no cussing rule?" i chuckle trying to lift the tense room

"when you have these flashbacks  how do you feel destiny"

i sigh she was always the one that always wanted to dive into the problems ! she wanted to fix people... since she was a kid Jessica knew she wanted to follow in her mother foot steps...so when her mother died of a car accident Jessica vow to do what made her mother happy!

"I consume me! it fuck up my senses and i cant control my actions"

"you told me you never told anyone about this....not even cole?"

"no I haven't"

"why"

"because...he cant see how broken I am"

"your  not broken"

"I refuse to be broken...another fuck up"

"so you rather be missing?"

"n..no"

"well....are you ready to go home?"

"yes!"

"so why aren't you there?"

"its just to much for me right now! a lot of shit is happening and i cant handle it"

"think of cole.. he invest eight years into you and after getting engaged you lefted him!"

"i had to"

"you had to or you wanted to"

"i needed to... nun of them would understand"

"what about Nicole? wasn't she abused in her own home by a stranger?"

"its different"

"how! you keep coming up with excuse destiny"

"it was a one time thing for her! this happened to me for three years!"

"you've been holding on to this pain for thirteen years!"

"so?"

"its time for you to open up destiny! maybe get back on the pills"

"no! i cant function with all those pills"

"but they helped you didn't they?"

"a little"

"i recommend you get back on the anti depressants, if not the depressants try stabilizing your bipolar disorder"

"i'm not bipolar"

"yes you are destiny, and its progressing without the pills"

"you know nothing about my life so don't you dare try to tell me what i need to take!"

"the fact that you went from sad, to angry... in thirty seconds should tell you that there's something wrong"

"the only thing that's wrong is you pissing me off "

"really"

"i need a drink"

"do you always go to alcohol for you problems"

"don't start! its my release"

"from what?"

"the pain! the memoirs! life!"

"you think its healthy?"

"i know its not but i cant stop?"

"do you crave? like a craving so deep you go over your limit! it makes you do things you wouldn't do?"

"yes"

"like what?"

"last night, i drove home drunk"

"you understand the consequences to drunk driving don't you des"

"i do, and it was like i was having a battle in my head, i knew it was wrong, i didn't want to but it was like the drunk me didn't care! like she wanted to take the risk"

"have you thought of not drinking?"

"yea, but the pain always push me to it"

"well maybe if you had a strong support system... you could stop"

"i guess"

"do you want to stop?"

silence

"do you want to stop destiny"

"yes"

"really"

"i dont want to be like this no more"

"and this is were you no longer need me destiny!"

"what?"

"you have come to terms with what you want! you dont want to be here! you dont want to have issues! you want to be a better person! i will always be here for you but now all you need is your family! a clear mind! and cole"

"cole?"

"let cole in! because with him you can and you will be better"

"thank you"

"after four months your finally ready! your ready to go home destiny"

"im ready!"

"your ready"

"im fucking ready"