*this is a boyxboy story*
*it's also an au. explanation will be in the first part*
After a year of taking online classes, Nolan Prince is ready to attend his sophomore year of high school. Though he does have some doubts because of past healt...
I scrolled through all the movies, trying to find something interesting to watch while my family went out together. As much as I would have loved to go where there are going, Not only was I in a very bad mood right now, I also didn't think I could handle being surrounded by so many people.
"Nolan, are you sure you're going to be okay?" Mom asked as everyone was getting ready to leave the house.
"Yeah, I'll be fine," I said. "I'll just watch a movie or two. Maybe nap for a bit."
"Okay, if you're sure," Mom said. "Just call us, any of us, if you need anything."
"I will," I said.
Once everyone left, I continued scroll through the movies before settling on one I've seen dozens of times. It started playing so I took the opportunity of being home alone to lie down fully on the couch, completing it with pulling a blanket over top of me.
A few minutes into the movie, the feeling I really didn't want to feel started to appear. I tried pushing it away. Tried to tell myself that I was fine.
Nothing was working.
I really was hoping that I would be fine staying home alone. It was something I needed to work on so I wouldn't feel so dependent on everyone all the time. I couldn't expect to always be around someone. I had to be fine being alone.
Yet I really wasn't.
I was trying my hardest to just focus on the movie. Sure, I've seen it many times before but that was why I chose it. I knew it was a movie I liked so I would have no problem watching it.
As it turned out, I did have a problem watching it. I really couldn't focus. Not when I was feeling so empty inside. I hated feeling this way but I felt like there was nothing I could do to stop this. I tried. These feelings wouldn't go away.
Tears were starting to form around my eyes, making it even harder to focus on the movie. I wiped my tears away, though that didn't do much. The tears only started forming again, no matter how hard I tried to stop it.
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On top of feeling hopeless and empty, another feeling was starting to emerge. One I never wanted to feel again, especially when I was home alone. Already feeling so hopeless and empty.
The urge wasn't fading at all, so I reached for my phone, picking it off of the coffee table. I scrolled through my contacts until I reached my mom's name. My finger hovered the screen, wanting to just call her to tell her I wasn't doing so well. But I just couldn't. I didn't want to ruin my family's day. They've been waiting so long for this new arcade to open up, and I didn't want them to come home not even half an hour after they left.
I locked my phone, dropping it beside me on the couch. The urges were only getting stronger, so I sat up on the couch, wiping the tears from my eyes again. I paused the movie since I wasn't able to focus on it.
