His Safety Net

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

       I haven't talked to Jerome since the whole... almost kiss situation. I was too afraid to. I was afraid that he didn't feel the same way as me. That our whole friendship was ruined. He was the only person I felt comfortable with outside of my family but now, I didn't have that.

       He had tried calling and texting me but I couldn't bring myself to reply. Even after I kept ignoring him, he kept trying to contact me. Every day. I did feel a bit guilty ignoring him but I couldn't help it.

       Mom walked over to the dining table where I was sitting, placing down a plate of food in front of me; rice, steak, and steamed vegetables were on the plate. Mom also placed down a cup of orange juice for me.

       "Thanks," I said, setting my sketchbook aside so I could eat.

       "How's the mural coming along?" Mom asked.

       I sighed. "Not good." I pushed my sketchbook towards her so she could see that I wasn't getting too far with my idea, despite telling the mayor I could have a sketch for today. "I just feel like I'm in some kind of... slump."

       "I could see why," Mom said as she looked at the rough sketch.

       "Is it that bad?"

       "What? Oh, no, it's not bad at all. I'm just saying that I know the reason why you're in a slump."

       "Which is...?"

       Mom didn't reply yet. She just sat down beside me, putting the sketchbook back to where it was before. "I think you know."

       This time, it was my turn to not reply. I just picked up a piece of the steak with my fork and popped it into my mouth. Mom was right. I did know why I was in a slump. I just didn't want to admit it, nor did I know how to get out of my slump.

       As I continued eating, Mom figured I wasn't going to say anything else so she continued the conversation. "Why don't you try talking to him?"

       I finished chewing what was in my mouth before saying, "I don't know what to say... I mean... What if he tells me that he doesn't like me like that?"

       "Well, I can't completely speak for him because I don't know how he feels but if I had to guess, I would say that he does," Mom said. 

       "I doubt it..."

       "Nolan, he was about to kiss you. He probably would have if I didn't open the door. And I'm not a love expert or anything, but I think if someone kisses you, or is about to, it means they like you."

       I still doubted it. Why would Jerome like me of all people? There were a lot of other guys he could like. Why settle on someone like me? Someone who hated crowds. Someone who was so quiet and stuttered a lot.

       Someone who was damaged.

       "You don't have to tell him how you feel if you're not ready," Mom continued. "But you could at least talk to him. See what he has to say."

       That was the problem, though. What if I listened to what he had to say and he told me that he didn't like me romantically? That he only liked me as a friend? Sure, I could probably handle just being friends with him but for the time being... I didn't think I could handle the rejection.

       Mom could tell I didn't want to say anything else about Jerome so she just stood up from the dining table before heading to the kitchen, leaving me to eat my dinner.