His Safety Net

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

       I had been sketching at the dining table for quite some time, ever since I got home from school in fact, but I didn't even realize I ended up falling asleep until someone nudged my arm. I tiredly opened my eyes, seeing my mom standing beside me. "Are you okay?" she asked. "You've been sleeping here for a while."

       I lifted my head off the table and leaned back into the chair, rubbing my eyes. I actually wasn't feeling too. I didn't even know why I wasn't feeling too well. I was happy for a few days now. Of course, not completely happy. Just happy enough where I didn't feel like crap every single second of the day.

       And now, I was back to feeling horrible. Not a single bit of happiness could be found right now. 

       Even though my parents were constantly telling me that they couldn't help me if I just kept them in the dark, I didn't want to admit that I wasn't feeling good again. So I just went with the simple, "I'm fine. Just tired."

       "Why don't you relax on the couch or your bed?" Mom asked. "Isn't the table a bit uncomfortable?"

       "No, I'm okay," I said. "I didn't even mean to crash. I guess public school is a lot more tiring than online schooling."

       "Yeah, I bet," Mom said. "I'm about to get started on dinner. Would you like to help?"

       I didn't really feel like getting up, but I also didn't want to decline. I always felt bad if I said no whenever my mom asked if I wanted to help with dinner, even though there was no reason to feel bad. She always asked me because she knew I liked to cook, not because she needed help.

       So I told my mom that I would help her.

       Maybe it was something I needed, though. Cooking dinner together had always been our mother-son thing, starting when I was very young. I didn't even remember an age when I haven't been helping her.

       Mom wanted to make taco salad for dinner and since it involved a lot of vegetable chopping, I handled the meat portion of the dinner. I still didn't think I could handle having a knife in my hand, even if my intention was to just chop up some food.

       I guess I was just a weak person.

       As Mom and I were cooking dinner, Ryder came down the stairs. "Okay, Mom, I'm about to ask you something because I know Dad is going to say no if I ask him."

       "What is it?" Mom asked.

       "Two words," Ryder said. "Party tonight."

       "Again?" Mom asked. "Geez, how many parties are being thrown by people at your school?"

       Ryder shrugged. "I don't know. So can I go? With Orchid and Alan too, because they'd get mad if I go without them."

       "As long as you're home by eleven," Mom said. "You've always been home on time the last few parties you went to, and I trust that you didn't drink anything. I don't see why you shouldn't be able to go to this one. But at least eat some of the dinner your brother and I are making."

       "We will," Ryder said as he headed back upstairs. "Thanks, Mom!"

       Since nobody else was on this floor, apart from William and Rose, Mom decided to talk to me about something that not too many people knew about. "So I know you're not ready to let everyone know yet," she said, "but are you ever going to tell your father about you and Jerome?"

       I shrugged, not giving a verbal reply. I didn't even know if I was going to tell my dad any time soon. Of course I wanted to so I didn't have to hide who I was in my own home, but it was just so exhausting coming out all the time.