His Safety Net

Chapter 49

Chapter 49

       It took some time, but I was finally able to design the program for the dance recital. I didn't want it to be too boring, but I also didn't want it to be too extravagant, and I also didn't want to design one of the dances since there wasn't really a main focus.

       When I finally finished the design, I showed it to Jerome, and he thought it was perfect. He then sent it to the owner of the studio, who also agreed. So it was officially going to the program for the recital.

       Since school was out for the summer and I had a lot of free time, I was constantly going with Jerome to the dance rehearsals whenever I wasn't working at the clinic. Even though I hadn't felt any urges for a while now, I was afraid that all this free time would only allow me to sink into deep and dark thoughts I didn't want to think of.

       Making sure I had something to occupy my time helped a lot.

       Except now, I was started to worry about something else.

       I was starting to think there was something going on with Jerome. He was just acting different. Not too different, but different enough for me to notice. Though, I feel like I have noticed it sooner because now that I think about it, his behaviour started changing a while ago.

       I wished I was a better boyfriend and noticed it sooner...

       I was with Jerome at the dress rehearsal, the last one before the recital, and I couldn't help but notice how off Jerome was. He was constantly having to sit down, especially after having to demonstrate part of the dances. And even when he was demonstrating, he wasn't doing it full out like he has in the past. He just does it as simply as he could.

       I didn't want to bring it up yet, though. I was going to wait until after the rehearsal was over so I didn't distract Jerome from his job. He had to focus on making sure the dances he choreographed were ready to be performed at the recital. 

       The last thing I wanted to do was to distract him, or even upset him if it was something he didn't want to talk about.

       And if he hadn't already told me what was going on, then it was probably something he didn't want to talk about.

       Should I really ask him about it, then? I mean, I would have hated it if he asked me about my bandages the moment he first saw them. I wouldn't want to ask him about something that he didn't want to talk about. Even if I was really worried about him...

       Once rehearsal was over, Jerome waited for all the kids to be picked up by someone, even though Jamila and some other instructors were still here. He told me he always felt weird leaving before the kids, since he was their teacher.

       It didn't take too long for the kids to be picked up. Once they were all gone, Jerome just went to go check to see if everything was all set tomorrow with their costumes and props. He soon came back, told me everything was all good, so the two of us left the theatre and got to his car.

       I didn't really say anything on the way home. I tried to think of how I could bring up the conversation, that I was really worried about him, but I didn't quite know what to say. I was always horrible with words and conversations.

       Jerome, however, was a lot more keen than I had ever been. He noticed I must have been thinking about something because I was a lot more quiet than usual, which said something because I was a very quiet person. "What's on your mind?" Jerome asked.

       "N-nothing," I said, though my stutter said otherwise since I always stuttered when I was nervous about something. "I-it's just... n-nothing."

       "You sure?" Jerome asked. "You seem to be thinking about something. You do know you can tell me anything, right?"

       "I know," I said. "...So can you."

       This time, it was Jerome's turn to be quiet for a bit. Eventually, he said, "Yeah, I know."

       "So how come you haven't told me what's going on with you?" I said, and I immediately regretted it. If it was something Jerome didn't want to talk about, or was sensitive for him, then I should be easing into it, not immediately wonder why he hasn't told me. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

       "Like what?"

       "Like... Like you have to tell me. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to."

       "I know. Nothing is going on, though."

       "Okay," I said, even though I didn't quite believe him. But I wasn't going to push him into telling me. He would tell me when he was ready, just like how he waited for me to tell him what was going on with me.

       "There really isn't," Jerome said, as if he knew I didn't believe him. Which he probably figured out since he could read me pretty easily.

       "I said 'okay'," I said.

       "It's just stress," Jerome continued, like he just had to convince me everything was okay. "You know, with graduating, the recital, all that stuff."

       "Jerome--"

       "That's it. Nothing else."

       "Seriously, you don't have to tell me," I said.

       "I know," Jerome said. "And there seriously isn't anything going on."

       "Like I said, okay."

       However, the more he talked, the less I believed him. I mean, I already didn't believe him, but even after I tried ending the conversation, he continued to try to convince me everything was okay. Like he was trying to convince himself as well.

       It just made me want to ask him even more, but I couldn't push him. I couldn't upset him. Besides, maybe it just has to do with his parents divorce or something like that. It was probably very stressful for him now that he found out his mom also hurt his dad, and it wasn't an easy thing to talk about.

       Jerome would talk to me when he was ready.

       I hoped.

       When Jerome parked by the house, he didn't make a move to get out of the car. He just turned off the car and leaned back into his seat. "Look, there's... something going on. You're right. But I'm... I don't know. I'm dealing with it. I don't want to burden you with it."

       "You won't burden me with anything," I said. "But you also don't have to tell me if you don't want to talk about it or if you're not ready to."

       "I know," Jerome said, giving me a small smile. "Thanks for caring."

       "You shouldn't thank me for caring. Of course I care. You're my boyfriend."

       "The best boyfriend ever."

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one more chapter left :( but then we get the sequel which is a dual pov so yay we get to see things from jerome's eyes.

and i really hope i do jerome's storyline justice. i never want to completely butcher a storyline, especially one with sensitive issues.