His Safety Net

Chapter 28

*Even though I posted a warning about triggering subjects in the first part of this book, I'm giving this chapter a trigger warning*

Chapter 28

       "Are you serious?" Dad asked. "Has Mrs. Goth done anything about it? Seriously, I will call her right now to sort things out."

       "There's no point..." I said as Dad reached for his phone, actually wanting to call the school principal despite it being early in the evening. "She's not going to be at the school right now..."

       "Then I'll call her first thing tomorrow morning," Dad said. "As soon as the school is open, I'll call them."

       I sighed, fidgeting with the sleeves of my hoodie. "W-we don't know for sure... who it was..."

       "I thought Jerome said it was his old friends that probably did it," Alan said. "Like Anita, Dirk, and Cheryl. Most likely Anita."

       I propped my elbows up on the table, resting my face in my hands. I really didn't want to make a big deal out of this because it would only give my family the slightest idea that my mental health has taken a huge decline. I just wanted everyone to think I was okay. 

       So they didn't stop me if I ever took things too far.

       "What?" Mom asked. "Why would they do that?"

       "You should at least tell Mrs. Goth that's who you think did it," Dad said. "Or at least tell her that it happened."

       I removed my hands away from my face. "Look, I don't want to make a big deal out of this, alright? It happened. People know. It's over. It's not a big deal."

       "Not a big deal?" Ryder asked. "Nolan, you said it affected you. You had a panic attack the moment you saw those pictures."

       "I was in shock," I said. "That's it. I don't care about it so can we please just drop it?"

       "Nolan, you don't have to lie to us," Mom said. "You're allowed to be upset about this."

       "I'm not upset, alright!" I got up from the table and made my way upstairs. Once I got into my bedroom, I closed my door before slumping onto the floor. I was tempted to slam the door but that would only make my family think that something was definitely wrong.

       Which they probably already knew, but I just wanted them to think that I was okay with it. That it wasn't a big deal.

       Because I didn't know how much longer I could take this pain, and I didn't even feel like I could talk about it. I never could whenever my mental health was at a low. 

       My breathing was starting to get a bit too heavy, my chest tightening. No matter how hard I tried to steady my breathing, I couldn't. It was just too much for me at the moment with everything that was going on.

       Things were going so good in my life for once; getting into art again, becoming friends with Jerome then dating him, painting a mural in the city hall.

       And then all of a sudden, things took a sudden turn for the worse and was going downhill all too fast.

       I really didn't think I could take this anymore.

       Someone suddenly knocked on my door but I really didn't want to see anyone right now. "Whoever you are, just leave me alone."

       "I can't do that, Nolan," Mom said. 

       "Why? Because I'm not trusted enough to be on my own?" I asked.

       Mom was silent for a bit as if she didn't know how to reply, because she probably knew that I was right. Well, she probably wouldn't word it as me 'not being trusted enough' and her just being cautious. Either way, as much as I loved my mom, it was making me feel a lot worse. I felt like a burden. My family had to always look out for me every single day, every single moment.