My Random Musings

Green Door

I have never been
On this side-
Of this green door
Full of endless opportunities
Rushing in,
Full of light and vigour.
Visually scarring me-
Demanding full commitment.
If I close this door
I can't look back at what
Was behind it-
Long locked away
Open only inside my head
Not to revisit
All that sweet and bitter,
And be fully present-
In this brand new world,
With a brand new energy.
But oh this constant dilemma-
Of all of us - the supreme beings
Wanting to have immense control
Over past, present, future.
As if we have the key
To unleash our untapped almightiness.
A little bit selfish
But a whole lot confused-
About our wants,
About our needs-
Wanting to bask in the sunlight
But also crawl back into familiarity behind.
The new, sweet scent of beginnings,
Promising a ride to delirium.
But that scent from far back there,
Keeps pulling me back strongly.
Now tired of holding onto this door handle
For too long, too tight
For not closing it shut
But guilty of peeping inside -
My head instructs me to sit
To let go of that doorknob
To just take this all in,one at a time
With my back supported
By its hinge, for this unhinged,
Flapping my arms on both the sides-
As half my body gets tanned,
The other taking in my past glory,
My mind running on both sides-
Wants me to guard this portal for today.