My Random Musings

Grey waters

I know we said some things
That we shouldn't have said
And now you are inside- locked
On the other side of the door
Silent- like writings on the wall-
Screaming out loud.
But your lips have stopped moving
Wanting me to read your mind-
Like a blind man forced to describe
His handsome reflection in the mirror
Doing it with all his heart
But somehow falling in short of the right words-
I slump back hard against the door,
Rocking back and forth- pulling my legs closer
To tell the surging feeling inside
That's coaxing me to yell-
To calm myself down- hush baby hush-
This is not the end of the world
Just a rough day for both - a maybe.
I can feel your warmth from
All the blood rushing to your cheeks
Radiating through the wood-
Cutting sharply through my back
By the ugly solitude you have opted
Carefully, to plainly hurt me in return.
I can't take my words back, nor can you
I can't sit here alone-
With my ruthless thoughts , nor can you.
I can't stop the agony I have caused you
By merely letting my tongue
Repeatedly stomp on your good heart-
Nor can you force any painkillers
Down my weak throat to numb
My nerves against your toxic charades.
When did we get here, when did we?
From slow dancing to our songs together
To yelling at each other across the room
For merely snapping the window shut too loud.
I know you are tired- of all sorts
And be done with talking- once and for all
And be kind- be good- be in love all over again.
So do I. So do I. So do I.
Help me gently will you, then?
I can't do all this on my own, to be honest
Please open the door, let me in-
Let me hold your hand and rub your palms,
Let us apologise, and pray for good,
Let us fall into a hug, to breathe again
Against all the aching that engulfs us-
To let our wounds slowly begin to heal again.
But right now, you are in there, still
Suffocated, drained and degenerate-
An irreversibly wrecked ship
Not ever wanting to make it to the shore-
Wandering about the rough grey waters
Lost to finding stillness-  all by yourself.