chapter 17: His Kindness

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"Here." Julian hands me a glass of water, the glass that was in the box of food and there was a small bottle of water as well. Thank goodness it was there, I needed it.

"Thank you." I grab the glass with shaking  hands, the throwing up still has a bit of effect on me. I swallow the fresh water, cold liquid flowing down my tight throat and I feel like I am almost dead, I am having a huge lack of energy right now and the feeling that my body is going to fall off the bed is strong and insupportable, like a fish out of the sea.

"Are you feeling better? Do you need anything else?" He asks and I shake my head. It is already difficult to look at him and now speaking to him is even more difficult! Who would have thought that Mr. Sunglasses would be in my cabin, helping me while I am sick and worse, he saw me throw up! He saw me when I was face to face with the toilet... I can not anymore. It is another level of embarrassment.

The amount of embarrassing moments that occurred since I met this man is beyond belief. Is he a magnet of embarrassment because my fingers are not enough for me to count the amount of time I made a fool of myself in front of him. Unbelievable.

"Are you sure you don't have anyone with you?" He asks and honestly how bad I would like to have someone with me, someone who would take care of me and stroke my head until I fall asleep like dad would, but yeah, I am a woman, I can be strong... I guess.

Mom said 'Women are the strongest thing in the world.' Her words are real, we are strong, we are independent and even though I am feeling like dying right now, I have to stay strong, just like mom did. For mom.

"No, I told you, I am here alone," I reply and I put the glass of water on the nightstand, feeling the faint pain in my stomach when I move.

"Okay," he mumbles and does what I never thought he would do... he takes a seat next to me on the bed, close enough so that if I lean a bit towards him, our shoulders will touch. I look at him for the first time in the face since my little session of meeting the toilet and I can assure myself that my eyes are wide open, in shock.

Well, it is totally weird that he is sitting next to me, on my bed— which is a mess— and the most breathtaking is that he is in my room! I never thought that this kind of situation would have happened, goodness, his mysteriousness is on another level. Although I will not hide that I am enjoyed by his presence, but a few days ago he repelled me, he did not even want to talk to me, then we met again and he was more polite, I have to admit, then we met last night and he was way more than polite, he was politely gentle. He is like a sheet of paper, you never know in which direction it will fly if you throw it up in the air.

He sometimes makes me feel disoriented by the way he acts. Never in my life have I met a person like him, with his character and whole personality. People are crazy, indifferent, calm, full of joy and some are mysterious like him. I would love to unearth the layer under his facet.

"I'm sorry if I may sound rude and disrespectful but, are you sick?" His voice comes out as a low vibration in my ears, my eyes are glued to the left side of his face because he is not looking at me this time, he is looking straight, hands on his thighs, two silver rings on his thumb and forefinger.

What should I possibly answer to this? 'Oh yes, I am completely sick but not the kind of sickness you think. I am unfortunately a victime of a fire which burned parts of my skin to a critical degree, and you know what? I almost died from too many infections but yes, I may have been lucky there.' I do not know him, he does not know me. Yes, I think he is very attractive and mysterious, he makes me want to know more about him but I can not deliver my whole life in his hands, certainly not.

"I am." That is all I say, I am not lying for the first time since I got burned and I feel this extraordinary sensation which is freedom. Honestly, I do not know why I did not say something like 'Oh no, I am totally fine, it was just a virus', why? The truth just spilled out of my mouth as easily as the lies do. I did not have second thoughts about it, it was easy, fluid.

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