lack of

move like the weather.

the clouds whisping away at an unimaginable pace.
they drift in the wind and leave me alone.
i don't think i was ever supposed to be, not in this place.
the clouds, they left me to fend for myself, all on my own.
all i want is peace in the distance, so i suffer now.
all the unimaginable places i want to go to- they don't even exist.
the sky switches from color to color all too fast for me to really understand.
i don't feel like i'm really in this body.
everything i do is not something good.
i want to jump off and fly in the wind as well.
i want to travel through nebulas and watch a star blow up into a black hole.
i want to experience something truly magical.
i want to be alive for at least one hour.
not a second, because one second isn't enough time for me to process things and then truly enjoy them.
i want to move as fast as the cloud, and disappear in the atmosphere on a sunny day- just like they do.
i begin to sit and ponder life if i wasn't in it.
i'm not exactly planning to do something, but i don't think i want to be here anymore.
i just- i just wanna fly.
i want to be somewhere in space, somewhere far away.
i want to move like the weather does.

December 11th, 2019