lack of

dissociation

she fails to grab onto the rope that leads to the other side of the mountain.
she has water splashing into her eyes.
they've always said grass is greener on the other side,
but what if she doesn't want to take a look.
what if she doesn't have any ambitions to go beyond.
she doesn't want to go above and touch the sky.
she doesn't want to walk on moon and show everyone her achievements.
she hasn't even failed when there's no one to witness the things she has done.
but she does know that maybe she should have kept a good grip.
she does know that even though she's content in her space, she'll be alone forever.
her mind will hurt her forever.
her brain will hurt forever.
the small space can keep her here for eternity.
the small space.
it's too small.
it's too small.
she can breath just fine.
she's let go forever and is too tired to climb.

January 14th, 2020