lack of

the slow mile

the clouds covered up the whole sky, it was too bright to look at, but i've never felt such peace.
laying here with two important people.
i can hear the wind, see the fake grass, and take a deep breath.
there's so much i want to do, things i want to say.
but all i can truly do is lay here, wishing to be closer.
the earth and sky keeping me here.
the deep breath only meant for this one moment.
never again will the experience be this great.
close at best, but the clouds won't be shaped in the same puffs, the wind won't blow at the same angle.
these people will know me by then, nothing will be a mystery anymore.
nothing will be the same after this i suppose.
another memory to keep me along the way.
another thing from the past that i will always miss.
i wish my memory was still as vivid as it once was.
so at night i could dream of the field i saw, the feelings i was supposed to feel.
maybe someday in the late future i'll think about what i was supposed to do.
i'll think about every tiny thing i can remember from these teen years i should have done differently.

March 17th, 2020