lack of

of this blanket

who am i?
the way i could've drunk every single drop til death do us 'part.
i should've been out there already.
the pretty lights of the sun rise should have been enough to egnite the delicate lamp.
i could have shown the beams to the people.
i could have the shine of my insides.
could it have simply been a bond not meant to be?
the way love only meets with the spur of after life.
i wanted to cradle the blankets to my body, i wanted the softness outside, i wanted the calmness.
where did it go?
where did the pink palace float off too?
is there any way i can get it back?
not once more for it was the one that kept me.
it held me safe on the nights i didn't cry.
the nights fueled of my home smell, tears only came from physical pain.
i thought these were going to be nice times.
nice, perfect foot steps like the ones in the pictures.
the pictures always cradled me so softly.
the hugs i always wanted.
i can't believe in much that isn't logic,
but i know what's not real.
i know the spaces of my brain aren't logical.
i'm sorry.
the words, they never made sense to me, they'll hardly make sense to your fresh brain.
i'm sorry i can't make much sentences, there's no vocabulary to follow.
there's no path to take, no trees to breathe.
the coast has flooded.
the state is being taken away.
the door has opened and i want to walk back.
i don't want sit here anymore, the water is too cold.
there's no sound.

March 20th, 2020