The Price of Love | Naegami

Chapter Ten: Doubt

Pale hands gripped the edges of the sink tightly. Breathing became heavy as his heart pounded against his ribcage. Blue eyes narrowed and stared deeply into their reflection, looking for some ounce of reasoning to not doubt previous actions. Byakuya let out a sigh.

It felt amazing to call Naegi his boyfriend, it felt amazing to be so close to him. He loved him. His heart would beat faster when they touched, hell, even when they spoke or exchanged a glance. He liked him. No, he loved him. That made this so hard to take. Decisions had slipped away from his grasp. Love controlled him.

"There is nothing wrong with me..." He mumbled under his breath. His shoulders slumped and he began to shake a little. His bottom lip was quivering ever so slightly. It hurt. It hurt to feel shame for being in love, to feel shame for living how you wanted to. He felt like nothing under the weight of his doubt. "Nothing is wrong with me!"

He quickly hushed himself. Makoto was asleep in the next room. If Makoto heard any of this, who knows how he would feel? Who knows if he would still feel as loved and cared for? Byakuya shook his head to clear his mind. He needed to get ready for work, after all. He worked from home but he still didn't feel like working in such an improper condition.

He stumbled to the clothes folded neatly on the bathroom counter. It was nothing special; only a recently ironed, white button-up and some skinny, black dress pants. He removed the tee-shirt he was wearing after his shower. He slid the clothes on and looked at his reflection again.

His blonde hair was a mess and his blue eyes seemed quite dull. A yawn came from his lips as he grabbed his comb. He wanted to go back to bed and pull Makoto's warm body against him, protecting him with his arms. But he couldn't there were more important things to do. He sighed, feeling a bit... gross.

"I can't believe myself... I acted on impulse..." He murmured, desperately looking for an excuse other than loving the shorter male. No, he needed to stop thinking about that and get ready. He splashed some water on his face and began to comb slowly through his blonde hair.

"Hmm..." He put on his glasses and looked into the mirror again. He put a calm expression on his face and left the bathroom after turning the light off. It was another day of work which had to be done.

But Togami found, no matter what he worked on, he continued to doubt himself. He knew he did nothing wrong yet he still felt despair creep over him as if he had killed somebody. Ah, it hurt. He tried to distract himself for as long as he could. Until he heard a voice from the hallway.

"Good morning, Byakuya!"