We're A Secret (Camren)

Chapter 11

"You were the hardest lesson I ever had to learn."

Camila's P.O.V.

As I walked away from Lauren's house, I half expected her to run up to me and spin me around and crash our lips together passionately, but she stayed inside, probably on the verge of a breakdown. I was left in the cold, alone and upset, which are dangerous when combined.

I just want her to apologize for what she's done to me, but I know I don't deserve it. I want her to understand what it's like to fall for someone forbidden, someone that my parents didn't like and that they refused to let me see. I want her to know that she has to prove herself and show me the real her before I even consider being her girlfriend. Before I even consider being her anything.

Normani warned me about her, she said that Lauren is full of it, she's not sincere about anything and once she gets you in bed, she gets you out of her life. Considering Normani and Lauren had only known each other for a short time before Lauren took her upstairs, I knew that she might try the same thing with me. Normani said they knew each other for two months before the hook up, and they were just acquaintances, imagine what she might do to me since we're practically dating. Ally already told me Lauren isn't a relationship person, she only acts like she likes you when she wants something, but what does she want from me? I don't believe her romantic answer from earlier, she told the same exact to Normani and look what happened to them. They turned into nothing. I don't want that to happen to me, I don't think I could handle it.

I wanted to turn around and give Lauren a piece of my mind, but I already told her most of what I was thinking. She knows how I feel, and she let me have some space by allowing me to leave. If I went back, she'd just give me one of her stupid smirks and say "I knew you couldn't stand being without me", which would prompt me to slap the cockiness out of her.

I finally arrived at my home and burst inside, rushing up the stairs and into my room. Sofi enthusiastically followed after me, thinking I was playing a game of chase rather than trying to be alone. Once she noticed the tear stains on my cheeks, her expression softened and she wrapped her arms around my waist, patting my back comfortingly. I mirrored the gesture and smiled down at her. She couldn't understand what I was feeling, but she understood I was upset and that was enough.

"Are you okay?" She asked tenderly, staring up at me with her big brown eyes. I gave her a big grin and kissed her forehead reassuringly. She replied with a giant beam and squeezed me tighter for a second before she let go and bounded over to my bed. She patted the spot beside her and I obediently sat down. She looked at me imploringly and I couldn't help but lean in and give her a conniving look.

"There's this girl." I said and she looked at me with wide eyes.

"Her and I kissed." I added and she beamed at me again.

"Do you like her?" She asked curiously and I nodded, causing her to clap excitedly. She leaned in closer and urged me to continue my story.

"I think that I like her a lot. Maybe even love her." I said and her jaw dropped. She slapped my arm and said 'shut up' in a really surprised way.

"You can't tell her that though." I warned and Sofi furrowed her brow.

"Why not? Wouldn't it be nice for her to know that?" Sofi asked innocently and I ruffled her hair. She contorted her face into a disapproving face and pushed my hand away, giving me a faux serious look.

"I can't tell her just yet. She's got some things to figure out." I answered and was met with a confused expression.

"I don't understand. If you like her and you kiss her, then why don't you just date her?" She questioned and I just shrugged, not sure how to reply to that.

"Ok." She said before she stood up and pattered off to somewhere else.

I looked around my room and sighed, unsatisfied with my surroundings. Even though I had just yelled to her about how much I hate her, I want Lauren to be here. I want her to stare at me with those amazing green eyes of hers and I want her to give me that smile that makes the world stop in its tracks. I want her to use her charm on me and tell me how beautiful I am because it makes me feel like I actually am. I feel better when I'm around her, but yet I feel worse. I feel mad at myself for being so weak when it comes to her but I'm also so satisfied with myself for finding her and enjoying her. I really don't know how to feel about her, but I do know that I want to be around her. I want to be with her because even though she infuriates me to no end, she sets my insides on fire and makes me feel alive.

I know that I'm much too young to take this seriously, I'm a freshman in high school, and Lauren is a sophomore, we're nowhere near old enough to know what real love is or try to find it. I think that for the time being, Lauren and I could be together semi-happily until we run into some problem that is unfixable and break up. I'm not looking for anything permanent with her because she doesn't seem like someone that I would want to spend the rest of my life with, maybe just a year or so until I get tired of her antics. I know that she's not going to be a keeper but I'm willing to give her a chance because I think she deserves at least that. I should talk to her about it later, not now. She is probably too mad at my outburst to even want to talk to me.

"Mija?" My mothers voice said quietly and I looked up at the doorway, smiling brightly at her.

"I wanted to talk to you about your....friend." She said uncertainly and I nodded, motioning for her to come in. She sat down beside me and gave me a sympathetic look.

"I know that you like her a lot. I know that you've probably thought about her in ways one shouldn't think about their friend. I know that she's probably gotten into your head and charmed you into liking her, but I don't want you to think that you have to date her because of how she wants you to feel." My mother said and I gave her an appreciative smile, saying a soft thank you and giving her a formal hug.

"I'm not going to judge you for liking her, I understand. I liked a girl once, but she broke my heart mercilessly. I don't want Lauren to do that to you." She said and I tried to hold back at shock. It surprised me that my mother would do anything that didn't fit the good girl image, let alone fall in love with a girl.

"What was she like?" I asked anxiously, wanting to know more about my mother's past.

My mother gave me a reluctant look but I pleaded for her to at least give me some information. She sighed deeply and placed her hand on my knee.

"Her name was Clara-"

"That's Lauren's mom's name." I commented and my mother's eyes widened. Realization flooded over her and she started to shake her head. She stood up and left the room in a rush, obviously upset by what I had just said.

My mom and Lauren's mom? That seems unreal and outrageous. I don't believe that for a second. Why would my mother tell me that? Maybe it's a different Clara, maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions.

I should've just let her tell her God damn story instead of adding in. I want to know why my mother doesn't like the idea of Lauren and I. I would like to know what Clara did to her to make her despise relationships like Lauren and I's. I wish I had let her lecture me on the romantic decisions I make when I'm young. I want to know what typically happens to young girls who fall in love with each other.