We're A Secret (Camren)

Chapter 21

" Who were you before they broke your heart?"

Lauren's P.O.V.
It has been weeks since I last laid eyes on my ex-girlfriend. We haven't maintained contact at all, so I'm not in the loop about what is going on in her life. I don't know if her and her family is safe and well or living on the streets. Part of me worries that they're in serious trouble because I haven't even gotten so much as a text from Camila. I have sent her several messages and voicemails, asking her about how she is doing and what is going on in her new life, but I haven't received anything back yet. I know she told me that mother didn't want her to speak to me anymore, but I didn't think she'd take it this seriously. I didn't expect complete radio silence.

Since Camila's departure, I have become friendlier with Dinah and Normani. Normani still tries to make a move on me every now and then, but I resist her advances and she respects my decision to stay away from relationships for a while, although I have told her that I would consider it. None of my usual entourage knows why Camila left, they just think she moved away. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was partly my fault. I didn't need them blaming me for one of their best friends abandoning them. Ally, Normani, and Dinah are all I have now due to the fact that I was excommunicated from the cheerleader clique. I didn't care when I had Camila, but I am beginning to miss the volleyball players' shallow conversations. Not that I don't like hanging out with Ally, Normani, and Dinah, but I gave up my old life for Camila, and now she's gone and there's no point in abstaining from the spotlight anymore.

I want my old life back so much. I don't want to be this kushy, straight edge Lauren anymore. I want to drink and smoke and go to parties again because I had fun doing that. I just want to have fun again and get out of this awful depression. Camila did all of this to me. She made me a better person and she gave me morals. I resent her so much for what she did to me. She made me a completely different person. I am not even a shadow of who I was a year ago. There no rebellious hint in my personality, no danger in my eyes, there's not even a bad ass atmosphere about me any more. I am no longer intimidating or incredibly mysterious.

I don't know if I should be thankful or angry that people no longer expect me to jump into bed with them. My reputation as a slut was what got me popularity, and now that people know I didn't even have sex with Camila, they think I'm a goody two shoes who won't even let someone get to second base. I am getting nowhere with anybody, except maybe Normani.

"Hey babe," Speak of the devil.

"Hi Normani. I thought I told you not to call me babe." I said in an oddly kind way.

"I like it. It means you're mine, at least kind of. Have you thought about reconsidering our do over date yet?" She asked and traced a finger along my collarbone almost seductively.

"Yes. I want this thing between us to be something. I know we had a rocky start-" "

"No kidding." She interrupted with a smirk and I glared at her.

"But I do like you. Let's just take this slow. Is that alright with you?" She answered by pushing me against a locker, pinning my hands to either side of me. I tried to calm myself down while she stared into my eyes. She was so close and it made my heart pound similarly to the way Camila did.

I didn't think I'd ever end up liking Normani. She's so provocative and her intentions aren't the best, but she is fun to talk to and be around. If I hadn't been so head over heels for Camila, I might've asked Normani out sooner.

Normani's lips inched closer to mine and I tried to process what was happening before she started kissing me. It was hungry and desperate and I felt butterflies erupt in my stomach. It was nothing compared to the way Camila made me felt, but at least Normani was making me forget. There wasn't a single thought of those dumb brown eyes in my head while I was kissing Normani. I just thought of the Beyoncé perfume that Normani always wears.