Hopeless Honey

Fear

We laid in bed, just looking up, holding hands. His hand was warm and he intertwined his fingers with my cold ones.

"Xavier?" I whispered to see if he was awake

"Yeah?" He whispered back

"I'm scared" I said, not looking at him

"Why?" He turned his head and looked at my side.

"What if everyone thinks you deserve better than me, and they think I'm just a gold digger, or you're too cute for me?" I shivered, and turned over to look at him.

He pulled my hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly.

"I wish I had an answer, but I don't." He said softly.

"I used to be selfish, Honey." He began

"I still am sometimes, but I'm starting to learn."

"All I know is that when we're together none of that matters. It's like we're the same. When we're together you make me feel like I can do anything and be anyone." He shut his eyes

"You make me feel like I have all the money in the world, but I only want to spend it on you." He spoke so beautiful my eyes watered.

"You're the most beautiful person on the whole earth, especially because your eyes are the color of the richest coffee I'd ever drank. Your hair makes me want to tangle myself up in it forever, and it always smells like coconut." He chuckled and stuck his hand in my curls.

I was full on crying now. I didn't know he thought all this about me, especially since he never talked about his feelings.

"You've nursed me back to health so many times, I feel like you're an angel who's here to save me." His eyes fluttered and I could tell he was sleepy.

"Don't cry" he wiped my tear with his thumb.

"I love you" he whispered.

"God, I love you so much it hurts" he said a bit louder this time.

"I love you too" I said back to him.

"I won't let anyone hurt you" and for some reason, I believed him. I knew he was telling the truth.

In a few hours, we would be us. Xavier and Honey.

I fell asleep, even though I felt my nerves creeping up on me.

The morning was quiet, the people outside the room were loud and chaotic. But inside our little bubble, everything was okay.

His chest moved up and down slowly as he breathed peacefully. I watched his bare torso as the sun crept up on it. I sat up and felt him shift. He didn't wake up but his eyes fluttered before he laid his head back down.

I got out of bed slowly and put on a shirt. It was long and smelt like him. I sat in bed scrolling on my phone when I noticed a light buzzing on the other side of the bed.

I saw his phone on the night stand and slowly crept to it. I flipped it over and saw the name that was calling over and over. Scarlett. In that moment I thought about all the possibilities his passcode could be. Then I thought about trust and how angry I'd be if he'd done that to me.

I placed the phone back on the dresser, face down, like it was before. The phone continued ringing and I grew more annoyed. I looked over at him and he was fast asleep.

"Xavier" I said loudly.

"Xavier, your phone is ringing" he shifted around this time and groaned.

He looked over to the table and grabbed it. He looked at the calles and texts and put the phone back on the table without saying anything.

"Who was it" I asked, trying to play it cool. I looked at him carefully.

"Coach, I have practice today" He said nonchalantly.

"Oh" my heart shattered. Why did he feel the need to lie to me. If there was nothing going on then why was she still calling him.

"I'm gonna get dressed" I said quietly, not making eye contact with him.

I but back on the clothes from yesterday and I left the room.

Walking back to the other side of the house I couldn't help but feel like an idiot. Even if he did love me like he said he did, I couldn't compete with her. She was everything I wasn't. Rich, white, and beautiful. I felt my eyes water but I quickly stopped myself.

I shouldn't jump to conclusions yet, but he definitely had some explaining to do.