Tragic Coincidences

Chapter Nineteen~It's a Matter of Time

*1454 words*

I played hero with my sisters as a kid. Melany would always be the damsel in distress, and Rachel would be the villain. Leaving me to play the role of hero. I would defeat the villain, by ending their life in some way.

My mom would say, "Ace, even if you are the hero, and the person you're killing is the villain, you are still a murderer, no matter how beloved. People may praise you for saving them, but the villains family, might not see it that way." She bent down in front of me and rubbed my head looking at me with soft eyes. "No matter how evil, a person is a person. And they have lives to live, just like you and me."

The air in the police station felt heavy, and the tension that filled the air made it hard to breathe. Eli was pale, and his hands were shaking like maracas. It was as though I could hear his bones cracking against each other and his veins snapping like rubber bands. His eyes were closed and he dug his nails into my palm while I held his hands. He was drowning within himself; his eyes hazy and absent.

Careine sat on the other side of me, running her hands through her hair and breathing heavily.

My mom sat next to her, rubbing her back and humming to her. We filled up the entire waiting room. And as the day dragged on the police called us back one by one. Eli's father had made death threats, harassed and assaulted Eli and his family, and attempted to kidnap two minors. He was also going to send Careine to conversion therapy, which is also illegal in our state. I don't know what this is supposed to bring us. Peace? After everything that happened peace of mind seemed out of the question.

Everyone was giving a report. Eli, his mom, the twins, Angie, Melany, Annie, and myself. It was like a war zone. The way the phones rang was eerie, and the way people's footsteps echoed throughout the building was haunting. 

After the first hour or so, everyone was sent to a back room where we would wait for questioning. One of the walls had a large window on it, and through it, we could see the front door. I saw a woman with dark brown skin and long curly hair walk into the building. As she approached the front desk, she was frantic and seemed to be panicked. Her eyes were obsidian, and they seemed familiar. When she showed her badge to the officer at the front desk, I knew who she was immediate. 

Careine stood up, and I could tell she was relieved when I heard her let out a shaky sigh before running out the doors and into the front waiting room, where her social worker stood. Careine barrelled into the social worker's arms before she could even make it past the front desk.

Careine was agonizing over so much all on her own, and when I heard her screams all the way in the front room, I felt guilt pour over me like water. She didn't feel like she could express the full extent of her pain in front of us. I knew she was hurting, but I didn't know it was this bad. I think she knew, that if she expressed no pain, we'd be worried. And if she expressed this much pain, we'd be worried. She kept all her emotions in check with the emotions of others. And I didn't even see it. I thought I knew how she was feeling because she wasn't trying to cover up the fact that she was hurting. And yet, here I am, watching her cry out in pain. She was suffering from wounds that I thought were healing. I thought that I had gotten better...but maybe I'm just as useless as ever. But this isn't about me and my insecurities. This is about Eli and Careine. They're suffering. All I can do is support them the best I can.

Happily ever after doesn't come easy. Sometimes they don't ever come. Not all stories come full circle. Some stop at being rainbows. Some may look like circles at first glance, but you soon realize that they're a little misshapen. Some end abruptly, meeting a tragic end before we ever get to know what kind of shape it would have been. Lives come in all shapes and sizes, but they ever come in a straight line. Because no matter how small or big, you'll be faced with an obstacle, and you'll have to reshape. You lose contact with people, and you never get to know how their story ends.

I think a part of me new that what I was seeing wasn't the whole truth. I wanted to believe that she wasn't in such unbearable pain. I hoped that what I was seeing, was the truth, even though I knew that it probably wasn't.

After everything that happened, I sat in that police station watching my worries unravel in front of me.

Eli gently shook my shoulder, and I looked at him. "You zoned out," He said, before gesturing to Careine and her social worker standing in front of us.

"Hi, you must be Ace," The lady said holding out her hand to shake mine. "It's very nice to meet you, I'm Jelani, Careine's social worker."

She had a kind smile and soft features. She was a different social worker than the one I had met years prior. I looked to Careine, who looked like a toddler clinging to her parent's side. She tightly held onto Jelani's jacket sleeve with one, and wiped her eyes with the other. She was sniffling a lot, and her face was flushed. As I shook Jelani's hand, I wondered what kind of guilt she carried with her for allowing Careine to be adopted by that man. "Nice to meet you."

Rachel and Melany walked over and stood beside me, both shaking Jelani's hand before sitting down with my mom and dad.

I didn't know whether it was okay to relax or not. I didn't know any of the answers and it seemed like no one could give me any of them. Since everyone was just as clueless as me. There was a time where I wasn't the clueless one. Rage boiled in my chest, as I thought of how Careine walked out our door. I was the only one who knew that Careine belonged with us. No one fought like I did. Everyone took it for what it was and believed whatever seemed to be best for Careine. They forgot about what Careine wanted, brushing aside all the time Careine spent with us so that they could do what was best for her. I may be the clueless one now, but I was the only one. Of course, my mom and dad fought for her, but they eventually let go, in order to do what was "best", for Careine. Everyone was so wrapped up in what would be best for Careine; in what they thought Careine needed. They didn't take the time to stop and watch her as she was. Everyone was so concerned with making Careine smile, they didn't even see that she already was.

"If only..." I said quietly. "If only I had fought harder...then maybe..." We wouldn't be here. I couldn't possibly say that. I know Careine would blame herself for my shortcomings because that's just who she is. I should have made sure that she stayed.

Eli, held my hand tightly, and ran his hand over my hair. He held me closely, and I sunk into his arms, knowing they'd bring me at least a little comfort.

There was barely any time to think. The clock hands ticked by quickly, and the sun's golden glow slowly pooled out of the building. Nothing has been resolved. Everyone I know is facing terrible hardship, and I know that not all of our stories are going to have a happy ending.

I'm afraid.

"Excuse me," An officer said. "Could Careine, Jelani, and the Wrights follow me please?"

I'm afraid of how this story ends. I'm afraid to know who is going to get hurt this time and if I'll be able to help. If I can't, will they hate me? What will happen to the trust they gave me? Or the trust I gave them? Will I live with the guilt of escaping unscathed? Will I be visiting Hell again? I'll just have to wait and see. And the way things are going now, I don't think I'll have to wait long.