The Making Of A Legend (Leaked Sequel/RDJ FanFic)

Part 34

I found it hard to sleep after our conversation. I don't think Robert found it any easier. We laid together on our bed and he was hugging me, trying to make me feel comfortable. But all the thoughts about the pregnancy didn't let me feel like that at all. I managed to fall asleep but I kept waking up. At one moment I turn around and see the bed empty. Robert isn't on the bed anymore. I look around but I don't see him so I decide to get up to find him. I wear a robe and start looking around for him. Eventually I see him on the balcony, sitting in the dark by himself. I step outside and when he looks at me his expression changes to concern.

"Is everything okay?" he asks standing up and coming over to me.

"Yes, I just didn't see you on the bed and I was worried" I say and he sighs.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't sleep so I came here" he says and caresses my cheek with his hand.

"Me neither" I say and we look at each other nervously.

I can see it in his eyes that he was crying. It breaks my heart that he's like this. I take a look at the table and see a glass of alcohol and a couple of finished cigarettes.

"I thought you didn't smoke anymore"

"I don't. I just felt the need to do it" he gives me an apologetic look.

"It's fine" I smile, not wanting to stress him out any more.

We both take a seat and look at the beautiful sky since neither one of us knows how to say what's on our minds. He finally takes a deep breath and without looking at me he starts talking.

"Please let's keep the baby" he says quietly and I look at him.

He's looking down and seems really nostalgic. I move my chair right next to his and rest my hand on his back. He's leaning forward with his head trapped between his two palms.

"I want to have kids but I'm so scared and I feel so unready for this" I finally reply and he turns his attention to me.

"It's okay to be scared. Don't you think I was scared to be a father back with Elizabeth? We might not be ready yet but we have so much time to prepare ourselves" he shares his thoughts.

"Do you think this is the right time, though? We didn't plan this, our schedules are so busy now. Think of how much work you'll have to do with the next Iron Man. You signed a contract for 3 movies. And I was ready to start taking new projects again" I say the things that are haunting me.

"I know it will be difficult but I promise you I'll negotiate better working hours to be here more. You'll be able to take roles just fine after the pregnancy"

"Will we be able to handle it?" I ask worried and he hugs me romantically.

"Yes. We love each other and this baby. Just because we're scared doesn't mean we should give up on it. You said it yourself that you want to have kids"

After he says that we sit in silence for a few moments. I try to process everything and he looks like he's deep into his thoughts as well. His determination and willingness to have this baby make me feel more sure myself. The image of us raising our child together makes me jump out of my happiness.

"This might sound selfish but I can't handle losing another baby" he gulps strongly and can't keep his tears to himself.

He leans forward again but this time he's crying. He's hiding his face with his hands because he doesn't want me to see him like this. I know how difficult this is for him. I hug him tightly and try to comfort him but it's pointless. The pain he's feeling now must be unbearable. When he finally relaxes a bit and stops sobbing I caress the back of his head and find the courage to speak.

"Okay, I'm willing to do it. I believe in us, we can manage it" he immediately looks at me when he hears my words.

"Are you serious?" he asks and I can see a sparkle of joy in his eyes.

"Yes, absolutely!" I say and laugh uncontrollably.

"I love you so much" he says loudly and kisses me enthusiastically.

We can feel each other smiling during the kiss and it's the best feeling ever. I feel so good with myself and my decision and the more I look into Robert's happy eyes the more sure I am that this is the right call.

"Are you worried at all? Because I feel like I'm so not ready" I ask nervously.

"Worried? I'm f*cking terrified. I'm terrified of losing you and our baby just like it happened to me before. I don't think anyone can be more terrified than I am at this moment" he says and looks down again.

"Listen to me, nothing's going to happen to me or this baby. You went through a horrible tragedy and of course it will haunt you but this time you'll have the happy ending you deserve, okay?" I say softly and cup his face with my palms.

"Okay, I'm sorry for being this depressing during this moment. I shouldn't even freak you out with things like that. I'm so stupid, forgive me" he says apologising.

"Of course you'll have these thoughts in your head, baby. After your history I was expecting that. That's why it took me so long to tell you about the pregnancy. You were so happy with our wedding and I didn't want to ruin your mood"

"Are you kidding me? You didn't ruin my mood. I'm the happiest man on earth right now, with my gorgeous fiancee and our baby on our way. I'm just nostalgic at the same time" he says with the brightest smile on his lips.

I smile back at him realising how lucky I am to have this life with this man who's soon going to be my husband and the father of my child. We stay there hugging, both trying to make the best out of this moment but since the anxiety left my body I started feeling tired. I haven't really slept properly the last days. I yawn and then rub my sleepy eyes.

"I'll go back to bed, I'm feeling really tired" I say soflty.

"Yeah, of course. I'll be right behind you" he says nodding.

I peck his lips and go back inside, laying under the sheets. A couple of minutes later Robert joins me and I turn to him, resting my head on his shoulder and my hand around his chest.

"I love you so much, goodnight" I whisper.

"Goodnight, I love you both" he whispers back at me and places a soft kiss on my head before wrapping his arm around me.