Nightmares

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Diana

In July, Lily announced her pregnancy. Aeron and I were both surprised that Hunter and Lily were moving so quickly with their lives. Hunter had another year of school before he graduated and I didn't like the idea of Lily dropping out to have the baby.

My friend having a baby, however, got me thinking. Aeron and I have already gotten married. I couldn't help but wonder what was holding us back.

When I expressed to him a day after finding out about Lily and Hunter, that I wanted a baby he was quiet and just nodded. We went to bed that night and I stayed awake unsure about what he thought. It didn't sound like he wanted kids with me. But he didn't say anything about not wanting them either.

As I stared up at the ceiling on a warm July night, Aeron began jolting in his sleep. At first it freaked me out but came to the conclusion that he was probably just moving in his sleep.

This was one of the first nights that we didn't do anything sexual. I would say our relationship was very healthy. We did chores together, traded off the car and paying for gas, bought each other groceries, switched off on dinner, and made sure to show our love to one another in some special way.

He mumbled a few incomprehensible words and I furrowed my eyebrows. I sat up and studied him. He was coated in sweat and began panting. He began speaking louder to the point where he was yelling.

"No!" He cried.

"Aeron," I tried to wake him up by touching him. "Aeron, wake up."

"No! Not Diana!" I turned on the light and looked at the time. It was two in the morning.

"Come on, babe, wake up," I pushed his shoulder around. He turned to his back and smacked my hand away.

"Don't touch her!" He yelled into the closed room.

"Aeron!" I yelled. He turned over and pinned me down. "Aeron stop!" His eyes burst open and tears dropped onto my already tear-stained cheeks. "Babe?" I attempted. He was breathing hard and was glistening with sweat.

"Diana?" He heart-brokenly asked. I nodded and his face scrunched up as he began crying. He fell on me and shook in my arms as I soothed his hair and whispered sweet nothings to him.

He soon fell asleep and I did too. In the morning we didn't talk about his episode from the previous night. He was standoffish with conversation but not with physical touch. He called me and asked me about my day at work when I had my lunch break. He didn't talk much himself but said he loved me when we hung up. At home he clung to me as I moved around the house. I knew that it had something to do with his dream. I had been hurt in his dream, or at least been taken away from him. He was trying to keep me close to him in reality.

A similar thing happened the next night. But this time Aeron was fighting imaginary intruders. He hit me in the face and I held my nose as I tried to wake him up. When he did, he was crying again. He wouldn't stop saying sorry to me and helped me into the bathroom to wash off the blood that had begun to seep out of my nostrils.

"Diana, baby, I'm so sorry," he said as I sat on the counter in our bathroom in between his hands. "Know that I'd never hurt you."

"Aeron, I already told you: I know you didn't mean it." I held folded tissue paper to my nose. "You were just having a bad dream." He hung his head then moved forward and dropped it on my shoulder. He nuzzled into my neck and sighed heavily.

"I love you, Diana." I put my hand on his head and soothed out his hair.

"I know," I simply answered. "I love you too, Aeron," I kissed the side of his head then we went back to bed.

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